


The Stars

by AMidnightDreary



Series: Per Aspera [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: A bit of sex magic, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Character Development, Clothed Sex, Consensual and mostly safe and sane, Dark Tony Stark, Demon Deals, Demon Sex, Demon Tony Stark, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Morality, Explicit Consent, Fluff and Smut, God of Fire Loki, Hand Jobs, I think?, Light Angst, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Mage Tony Stark, Magic Lessons, Mentor/Protégé, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Pre-Thor (2011), Protective Tony Stark, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Inexperience, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Virgin Loki (Marvel), mild bloodplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22171678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMidnightDreary/pseuds/AMidnightDreary
Summary: Loki made a deal with a demon, and it might just be the best thing that ever happened to him. It might also be his ruin, but it's a little late to worry about that now.
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja & Loki & Odin & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Per Aspera [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563694
Comments: 128
Kudos: 562
Collections: Tenebrific's Finished Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, the (first) sequel to what I just call "The Demon Thing". The first part in the series is "The Iron Gate" and should probably be read before this! There'll also be a third installment after this that will provide all the angst you can dream of, for now this is a bit softer. Even has some sort of happy ending. xD
> 
> Thanks so much to **Rabentochter** for letting me whine about this all the time and for reading over it! You're the best and I love you.
> 
> Updates will be up on Wednesdays!

Loki was quite proud to say that his bedroom had become the most well-protected room in Asgard. He had worked on it for ages, and now nobody would even be able to tell that the room was being protected at all. The illusions Loki had put into place were flawless, so neither Heimdall nor Loki’s parents wouldn’t get suspicious. It was all very practical.

And also very much needed, given what Anthony was doing at the moment.

Loki had stilled as soon as Anthony’s hand had touched his shoulder, and he still wasn’t moving. Anthony’s hand had by now wandered down to the small of Loki’s back, fingers moving in slow circles. The touch was light enough that Loki got goosebumps. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice hitching a little. He cleared his throat.

Anthony hummed. The demon was sitting on the bed, a little behind Loki to be able to look over his shoulder. “Teaching you the wonders of skywalking,” he said, his tone low and oh so innocent. “Well, I want to. You stopped concentrating about nine minutes ago.”

“You’re touching me,” Loki accused him. “You’re _distracting_ me.”

“Oh, am I?” 

“Yes! How am I supposed to concentrate when -”

Anthony’s lips on Loki’s neck, suddenly. _Oh._ Loki completely forgot about the book in his hands. 

“When what, little god?” Anthony murmured into Loki’s skin, lips stretching into a smile when Loki shivered.

“Do _not_ call me that,” Loki told him, like he had done at least fifty times before.

And like all those fifty times, Anthony was entirely unimpressed. He chuckled and took both his hand and his lips away from Loki’s body, which was… a bit disappointing, honestly. Loki turned his head just in time to see Anthony stretch out on the bed, his arms over his head. He was wearing his usual clothes - Midgardian, just like Loki had guessed when he had seen the demon for the first time - and the shirt got pulled up a little when he stretched, revealing a streak of tanned skin and a trail of soft-looking dark hair. Loki’s mouth went rather dry, and he hurriedly blinked and turned back to his book.

“Do you understand what you’re reading?” Anthony asked, his amused tone telling Loki that the demon knew _exactly_ what was going in Loki’s head. 

“Of course I do,” Loki said, primly. He’d read about skywalking before, though it had always been more in the terms of legends, not actual magical theory. It was one of the most dangerous practices he had ever heard of, so naturally Loki wanted it more than anything else. 

“Explain it to me,” Anthony said, so Loki sighed and told the demon everything he knew.

~~~

It had been going on for months now, this - tuition. And Loki had already learned more than he had ever even _hoped_ to learn, had made so much progress that thinking about it made him slightly dizzy. The demon was a good teacher, demanding but also surprisingly patient and, most importantly, pleased every time Loki asked questions. _Pleased._ He seemed to like how curious Loki was, and, well, that was a first. Everybody else had mostly just found Loki’s thirst for knowledge bothersome, or dangerous. They hadn’t been wrong with the latter, of course. Loki’s curiosity _had_ made him strike a deal with one of the most deadly beings in the Nine Realms.

Anthony appeared in Loki’s bedroom three or four nights a week. He taught Loki and talked to him, and while Loki never forgot that his teacher was a demon, by now he had almost gotten used to that. Anthony wasn’t that different than Loki, after all. Demons were just gods who had displeased the Norns, this way or another, and had been turned into something else as a punishment. Once, when Odin had been very, very angry, he had told Loki to take care that the same fate wouldn’t befall him.

Looking at Anthony now, Loki wondered if the Norns were already watching him.

~~~

“We’re going to have our lesson somewhere different tomorrow,” Anthony said when they were done for the night. He was still on Loki’s bed, leaning against one of the posts and looking down at Loki. 

Loki was sitting on the floor, pulling out the chest from beneath his bed. It contained all the books Anthony had given him, and Loki was very careful with them. He put the one about skywalking to the others. “Where?”

“Depends. Can you still make it into the forest without being seen? If not I’ll -”

“I can,” Loki said, indignant because Anthony had even felt the need to ask. “Of course I can. I managed before, did I?”

“You did.”

“Just tell me when. I’ll be there.”

Anthony grinned. Sometimes, his teeth seemed like they were a little sharp, but maybe it was just the light. “Always so eager,” he said, his voice low enough that Loki felt his face flush. Anthony chuckled and straightened, flinging his legs off the bed. “Just after sunset, I’d say. If my prince is alright with that?”

Loki had to look away. He pushed the chest back under the bed. “Stop that.”

“Why, does it bother you?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, I don’t think so.” The demon put two fingers under Loki’s chin and lifted it. He was still grinning, and also very close, and Loki couldn’t help but hold his breath. Anthony seemed amused. “Actually, I think you like it. Don’t you, my prince?”

Loki glared at him and turned his head, making Anthony withdraw his hand. Loki knew that there was a blush creeping up all the way into the tips of his ears, but before Anthony could tease him for that, he asked, “Have you decided yet?”

Anthony was quiet for a moment. His tone was light when he finally said, “No.”

“It’s been months,” Loki said, looking at him again. “If you want to teach me until I owe you even _more_ , I -”

“You wouldn’t have a single problem with that,” Anthony interrupted, the look in his eyes sharp. “You’d give me anything. Anything I asked for.”

Loki clenched his teeth. “Then ask for something.”

“Oh, I will. In time.” Anthony got up and stretched. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Loki.”

And then he was gone.

Loki stayed sitting on the floor for some time, hovering somewhere between relief and frustration. The worst thing was that Anthony was _right_ . When they had made their deal, Anthony had demanded nothing from Loki - nothing except the guarantee of a _yes_ the second Anthony decided what he wanted. He’d said that he didn’t know Loki at all, that he needed to figure out what Loki could give him, if he could give him anything at all, and that he would teach him until he knew. Even then Loki had already known that this had been the worst possible deal for him, and in rare moments he berated himself for giving such a blank promise. That wasn’t like him. But gods, Anthony was right - Loki _was_ eager and yes, he’d have given the demon anything.

It was a frightening thought. But still, Loki wasn’t about to back away. He _couldn’t_ back away; a deal with a demon was pretty much unbreakable. And it wasn’t like Loki didn’t get anything out of it. With Anthony teaching him, Loki could become the best mage the Nine Realms had ever seen, within less than a decade.

No matter what the price would be, it would be worth it.

~~~

The forest was dark and quiet when Loki reached the edge of it. The sky was as clear as it always was in Asgard, stars and moon bright enough that Loki had found his way here without problems, but he knew that the trees would swallow every light.

If Anthony thought Loki would be scared, he’d be immensely disappointed.

Loki walked through the forest for what felt like hours. But that was fine; he had expected Anthony to make him wait a bit, because the demon was almost never on time. He also didn’t specify _where_ in the forest they were to meet, and Asgard’s forest was big, so Loki was prepared to walk around for some time. It was almost midnight when he found Anthony.

Or well, it was probably more accurate to say that Anthony found him.

“You’ve been walking in circles.”

Loki was surprised enough that he flinched - in his room, he could always tell that Anthony would appear just seconds before he did, but out here the flicker of magic was easy to oversee. Behind him, Anthony chuckled, and Loki turned to glare at him.

“I know,” he snapped. “I have been walking in circles on _purpose._ ”

“If you say so.”

Anthony was standing rather close to Loki now, eyes glinting in the green glow of the magical light Loki was carrying. He was wearing a suit tonight. Loki couldn’t say that he _liked_ how Midgardians dressed, but he had to admit that suits were… alright. On Anthony, anyway. 

Loki hadn’t yet figured out _why_ Anthony always wore Midgardian clothes. He knew next to nothing about the demon, except from the fact that he had been an Aesir once, very long ago. Loki had read about that, and only because of that he knew the demon’s name - or what had been the demon’s name back then. Loki didn’t even know if the demon even still _had_ a name, but he wasn’t about to call him “merchant of death” in his thoughts.

“You look tired,” Anthony noted, taking another step closer to Loki.

Loki held the demon’s gaze. “I’m fine.”

Anthony hummed and raised his hand, touching his fingertips to Loki’s cheek. He applied the slightest bit of pressure, making Loki turn his head to the side. When Anthony spoke, he sounded disdainful, “What’s this, then?”

“What does it look like?” Loki replied. Thor’s friends had sparred today, and Loki had had no other choice but join them. He always came out of those fights bruised here and there, but today it had went well, all in all. He’d even beaten Sif, which was always satisfying.

“You need to be faster,” Anthony said, letting his hand sink again.

Loki glared at him and ran his own fingers over his bruised cheekbone - finding the cut gone. He could still feel Anthony’s touch. The demon’s hands were always surprisingly warm. “I _am_ already faster than them.”

“Then you need to be more careful.”

Loki’s glare turned into a confused frown. “ _Careful._ If my father catches me being _careful -_ ”

“This isn’t about pleasing your father anymore,” Anthony cut him off. “Is it?”

Loki swallowed. “No.”

“Good,” Anthony said. “Then being careful shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You have yet to give me fighting lessons. Maybe then I would be able to beat them all without being hit even once.”

“Maybe,” Anthony agreed, smirking, and disappeared.

Loki sighed. He didn’t bother turning and looking for the demon, he knew that Anthony would -

“You know,” Anthony said from somewhere behind Loki. “Being careful isn’t quite the same as being a coward.”

Yes, there he was. Now Loki did turn around, crossing his arms when he spotted Anthony leaning against the trea. “I know it isn’t.”

“Do you?” Anthony asked. “I feel like you keep forgetting it.”

Loki stayed where he was, because he knew that Anthony wanted him to approach him. “Everyone in Asgard keeps saying that it _is_ the same.”

“Yes,” Anthony agreed, “I know. But, believe me, I’ve tried their bold and reckless shtick.” He grinned, eyes flaring up red just briefly; they did that sometimes. “It didn’t end well.”

Loki perked up at that. He’d known that already, of course, but this was the first time Anthony had offered him anything that even remotely _resembled_ personal information. 

“Did you?” He asked. “Try?”

Anthony snorted and disappeared again, and reappeared sitting in a tree above Loki’s head, his legs dangling in the air. “Sure did. Are you coming now?”

“I _can_ teleport,” Loki called up to him. “We don’t need to practice this again.”

Anthony looked down at him. “I won’t take you skywalking as long as I’m not even sure that you can teleport properly.”

Loki’s complaining thoughts came to a sudden halt, and after a second he couldn’t keep from smiling. “Take me skywalking?”

“Yes,” Anthony said - suddenly standing right behind Loki again. He waited until Loki turned around, then grinned at him. “So we _are_ practicing this again, unless - well, if you would rather have a normal lesson in your room, I won’t -”

“No,” Loki interrupted quickly. “No. Teleportation it is, and then - and then skywalking.”

Tony acknowledged it with a nod. “Per aspera,” he said, in a tone that told Loki quite clearly that he was being mocked. He didn’t like being mocked, especially not with words in a human language that was long dead.

“Where to?” He asked, and Anthony laughed.

“Catch me,” he said, “and maybe you’ll find out.”

He disappeared again, and the split of a second later, Loki followed suit.

~~~

Loki had never caught Anthony in their earlier lessons, and he probably never would. But he got very close, this time; his fingers almost brushed the hem of Anthony’s jacket before the demon disappeared again. Loki stumbled, chest lighting up with the knowledge that he had _almost managed,_ and he was still laughing when he caught sight of Anthony between the trees. The demon was grinning, too.

“That was close!” Loki said, and Anthony chuckled.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Your technique is flawless, almost.”

That could have sounded mocking, but it didn’t. Instead it sounded like _praise,_ and while Anthony wasn’t exactly reluctant to give out praise when it was deserved, it was still rare enough that something in Loki melted. He desperately tried to not let Anthony see.

“If it were,” he said, “I would have caught you.”

“I did say _almost,_ ” Anthony said, amused. Then, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Excuse me?” Loki had leaned against a tree, needing to catch his breath. His technique might have been _almost_ flawless, but teleporting for nearly two hours without a break was still a little strenuous. So he was a little out of breath, fine, but that didn’t make him _ridiculous,_ did it?

“Ridiculously talented,” Anthony explained. He had approached Loki and now stood right in front of him, an intent look in his dark eyes.

“Oh,” Loki said. It was the most stupid reply possible, but he couldn’t think of anything better. _That_ was ridiculous. 

Anthony smiled. It was one of the softer ones, those that didn’t appear very often. Something about this one made Loki’s heart stumble over itself, as if it didn’t know how to keep beating steadily when confronted with such a sight. Loki swallowed thickly, allowing his eyes to stay fixed on Anthony’s smiling lips for one, two, maybe three seconds, allowing the image to settle down comfortably in Loki’s mind and make a home there, a home for the feeling that smile made quell up in Loki’s chest.

“You’re wasted here in Asgard,” Anthony told him, his voice low, almost absent. He reached out for Loki the second time tonight, now to brush some wayward strands of black hair out of his face. “You could be _brilliant._ Do you know that?”

Loki didn’t. He’d never even considered the thought. _Wasted_ in Asgard, in the palace - it was like looking at everything with entirely new eyes. How did one go from never fitting to being wasted in one’s own home? 

_Brilliant._

“But where else would I go?” Loki asked, his voice not much louder than a whisper.

“There are nine realms to choose from,” Anthony replied just as quietly. His eyes briefly flickered up to Loki’s, then back to his own fingers again. They were traveling down Loki’s cheek by now, their touch still warm. Gentle, almost. “And many more beyond that.”

“More?” Loki echoed, confused. There was nothing beyond Yggdrasil, everybody knew that. Just the Void.

Anthony’s smile turned sharper at its edges. “You’ve been lied to all your life, Loki Odinson. Your world is so much bigger than he would like you to believe.”

Loki could barely think anymore. “Show me,” he demanded, breath catching in his throat and making the words come out a little ragged.

Anthony chuckled. He cupped the side of Loki’s jaw, thumb stroking over Loki’s skin. “I am,” he said, pressing closer. “I will.”

Loki could feel the warmth of the demon’s body against his own, now. It wasn’t the first time he felt that; Anthony touched him often, mostly in ways that weren’t entirely appropriate. Oh, nothing entirely _inappropriate,_ either, just - a hand wandering down to the small of Loki’s back and staying there, just resting. Lips ghosting over Loki’s neck, fingertips brushing his hand. It was a seduction, of course; that was all too obvious. Loki wasn’t naive. He wasn’t _unwilling,_ either.

Anthony looked at him like he was waiting for something.

“Your price?” Loki asked, unable to look away from Anthony’s eyes. “Have you -”

“Decided?” Anthony cut in. “Yes.”

The rest was easy enough to figure out.

With his back against the tree, there wasn't anywhere Loki could go. Oddly enough, he found that he didn't want to go anywhere. Anthony was close enough that it made Loki breathless, but he still managed a small smirk.

“ _This_ is what you want, then? Really?”

The demon's smile was just as sharp. “Does that really surprise you, _my prince_?”

Loki shook his head, making Anthony laugh. He leaned in closer, one of his hands stroking down Loki's side until it came to rest on his hip. 

“Such a pretty, clever thing,” Anthony murmured, his breath so close to Loki's mouth now. “What do you say?”

“I agree to your terms,” Loki said. His breath was hitching and nervousness was pooling in his stomach, but he lifted his chin, bringing their lips even closer together. “And I do think you've let me wait long enough, so if you please -”

Anthony laughed again, and kissed him.

Like Anthony’s touch, his kiss was surprisingly gentle. It coaxed a gasp out of Loki, anyway, and then he kissed back. He didn’t really know what he was doing, but judging by the way Anthony pressed him against the tree and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him, Loki wasn’t doing anything _wrong._ Anthony’s lips were warm and soft against Loki’s own and intent, just like his eyes had been. Anthony kissed him carefully, but not hesitantly, keeping his hand on Loki’s jaw to make sure his face stayed angled up for him. Keeping him where he wanted him, where Loki wanted to be, so desperately that it was embarrassing. But he’d never been kissed like this before, with so much - so much… With so _much_ behind it. 

When Anthony stopped, he was breathing a little raggedly. That alone made Loki’s head spin - a demon, out of breath because of _him._

“Maybe not so clever after all,” Anthony murmured, his voice so much lower than usual. He was smiling, though, _teasing_. The tip of his nose touched Loki’s in a manner that could only be described as playful. “Agreeing to my terms before even knowing them. Haven’t you learned anything from me?”

Loki huffed a laugh; he couldn’t help it. He’d thought that teleportation was thrilling, but this was - yes, this was what _skywalking_ had to feel like. “Maybe I didn’t. Or maybe - maybe I merely don’t care for your terms.”

He needed to accept them, anyway, at least if he wanted to keep his teacher. And he wanted to keep his teacher, so much, and _exactly like this._

“Liar,” Anthony said, making it sound like praise. “You want to know.”

“Of _course_ ,” Loki said. “I want to know everything.”

“As always.” Anthony pulled back, looking at Loki’s doubtlessly red and wet lips for just a second before his eyes wandered lower. His hands followed suit, stroking down Loki’s chest. "I want to have your firsts."

“My - my firsts?”

Anthony nodded, meeting Loki's eyes again with a smirk. 

Loki blinked very slowly, trying to concentrate. “Sexual?”

The smirk widened. “Including but not limited to, yes.”

“Ah,” Loki said faintly. He was unable to form any words beyond that. 

“You already gave me a few,” Anthony murmured. “Without even noticing. Maybe you won't even notice the others you'll give me, either.” He chuckled, a low sound that had Loki clinging to the tree behind him a little tighter. “Well, you _are_ noticing this one, I hope.”

Loki barely had enough breath to say something, but he nevertheless managed, “Not my first kiss.”

“Mh, I know. The first that makes you feel like this, though. Who was it?”

“A - a girl from the kitchens.”

“And?”

Loki let out a mildly frustrated sound. “Someone I met in a tavern. I don't know why that is -”

Anthony kissed him again, and Loki lost his line of thought. It was briefer, this time, and a little harder. Anthony's fingers started ghosting over the very obvious bulge in Loki's pants.

“What about this?” Anthony breathed against Loki's lips. “Has someone touched you, like this?”

“No,” Loki said. He'd stopped breathing altogether now. “Never. I didn't - I've never been with anyone.”

“Just the kisses.”

Loki nodded.

“Then I want,” Anthony said, sounding satisfied, “your firsts. All that are left.”

“You shall have them,” Loki said, because what else could he say? He'd already agreed.

“Good. That will do for now.” Anthony gave Loki a crooked grin, one that made Loki realize what he had just gotten himself into. 

Thankfully, Anthony's hand pressing down onto Loki's crotch made him forget about panicking. Loki gasped in surprise, hips twitching just slightly. Anthony's grin softened into a smile. 

“So eager,” he murmured, because of course he did; he always liked to tease Loki for his _eagerness._

Loki would have rolled his eyes if he hadn't been elsewhere with his thoughts. Anthony just chuckled and continued stroking Loki through his pants. Loki wished he had chosen clothes that were a little more yielding than leather. He wanted to feel Anthony's touch _properly,_ directly, not just through layers of fabric.

Maybe demons could read minds, or maybe they knew what people wanted, just so they could ponder on what they wanted to demand in return. Either way, Anthony's hands began to fiddle with Loki's pants, and soon enough he pushed them down, just enough that he could wrap his warm hand around Loki's cock.

Loki let out a startled sound, and Anthony kissed it right off Loki's mouth. There was a tongue now, too, playing with Loki's own, and Loki found that he quite liked it. He quite liked everything about this, even though he also felt like he was frozen in place. His hands had sought out the tree behind him. The bark scratched over his palms as his fingers trembled, frantic in their search of something to hold onto, something - gods, _something -_

“Yes, that's it,” Anthony hummed right into Loki's ear, and that was it, that did it.

Loki came all over Anthony's hand and was quite sure that he was damned, but he didn't care. Couldn't care. His legs felt a little wobbly and his thoughts were so slow, he wasn't used to them being so slow, he shouldn't _allow_ them to be this slow in a demon's presence.

He opened his bleary eyes, blinking a few times. Anthony was watching him, his face still close to Loki's, his hands on Loki's hips now. A smirk was pulling at his lips and slowly turned into a crooked grin when he realized that Loki was staring at him.

“You with me?”

Embarrassment. That was the first thing Loki felt, mostly because he was aware that that had been over rather _quickly_ and that he had probably made a fool of himself. Then he was annoyed at himself for being embarrassed. He was sure that both could be seen clearly on his face, because Anthony winked at him and then leaned in to kiss Loki's cheek. The warmth of his lips lingered on Loki's skin even when Anthony whispered into his ear.

“Keep going like this, and I'll tell you everything I know.”

He pulled back to look at Loki, and Loki looked right into his eyes. They were so dark that they were almost black, and they didn't just look like that because it was as dark in the forest as it was. No, Anthony's eyes were always almost black, and Loki knew them so well by now. Knew that they flashed red now and then, red like freshly spilled blood, like rubies. Sometimes, Loki wondered what color they had been before Anthony had turned into this, but for the life of him, he couldn't make a choice.

Loki forced his hand to let go of the tree behind him and lifted it. Anthony's skin was warm when he touched it, his beard soft under Loki's fingertips. What an odd thing, touching him. Loki had imagined it often enough, always when he was alone, with thoughts so quiet that he could barely hear them himself. Touching Anthony, that wasn't something Loki could just _do,_ but here he was, and Anthony let him. He even inclined his head a little, fitting his cheek into Loki's palm. His eyes never left Loki's, not even briefly.

This was the price, then. Only that it wasn't, not really, not like Loki had thought it would be. A price should be something you would rather not pay, not something you desired with every fibre of your being.

“An excellent deal,” Loki breathed out, smiling, and Anthony turned his head to kiss Loki's palm.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Frigga asked him why he looked so exhausted, and Loki thought about a demon licking his fingers clean after stroking Loki off, but that was not the kind of thing you could say to your mother. Or to your father, for that matter, because he was sitting at the table, too, and he was already looking at you like you committed high treason.

Loki told them about a book he read ages ago which “kept him up last night”, and after two minutes Odin wasn’t looking at him at all anymore.

~~~

Anthony didn’t appear in Loki’s room that night, and Loki couldn’t help but be disappointed. And angry with himself, because  _ somehow _ he had forgotten all about skywalking the night before. Anthony had all but promised to take Loki skywalking, and Loki shouldn’t have let him get away without at least reminding him of it. But as it was, Loki had been a little distracted, and now there was nothing he could do but wait until Anthony visited again.

Loki spent the night in the library, soaking up every grain of knowledge about skywalking he could find. He kept the book Anthony had given him pressed close to his chest as he wandered through the shelves, never leaving it out of his sight. 

He already knew how it worked, at least in theory. It was like teleporting, only on a bigger scale. Jumping between the realms, between the very skies, climbing Yggdrasil instead of just balancing on asingle branch. Loki liked the thought of it, liked it so much that his chest tightened whenever he imagined it. He knew that there were portals here and there, gaps in space and time one could use to travel between the realms, and he had found and used them before. But being able to  _ create _ such portals at will… If he learned that, he would be able to go wherever he wanted. Nobody at all would be able to stop him.

_ Nine realms to choose from. _

He was pulled out of his dreaming quite rudely when the iron gate was opened. It creaked only quietly, but Loki heard it just in time. That could only be his father, and Loki did not fancy running into him here. He quickly and silently sent the few books he had taken back to their places on the shelves, and then he teleported out of the library.

He really was getting quite good at that.

~~~

Skywalking felt a little bit like falling. Like being sucked into a black hole, the entire world blurring, disappearing, then slotting into place again. It was sudden, over within seconds, and it left Loki with a churning stomach and the taste of iron on his tongue.

He loved it.

His legs couldn’t quite hold him, too surprised that there was solid ground beneath them again, but Anthony’s arm was still wrapped tightly around Loki’s middle and kept him upright. Loki couldn’t keep a breathless laugh inside when he realized that he had actually  _ done _ it, he’d skywalked - fine, actually he had just been dragged along as Anthony had skywalked, but still.  _ Still.  _

“Careful,” Anthony told him, his smile coloring his voice. “The fall wouldn’t be pleasant.”

Loki was still catching his breath, and Anthony’s words didn’t make sense to him at first. But then he remembered that they hadn’t just skywalked, they had skywalked  _ to _ somewhere, and now they were actually - somewhere else. 

Loki took a deep breath, and then looked around.

It had been very dark in Asgard, but here it was still bright. The sun was just preparing to set over the sea - oh, the  _ sea. _ So much water, right there in front of them, below them, shimmering red and golden in the light of the sinking sun. Just a few clouds in the vast sky, and so many colors. They were standing right on the edge of what felt like the very world, and the sheer height of it was dizzying. Loki could see cliffs to their left and right, getting smaller in the distance, darkening to silhouettes in the sunset.

Loki let out another laugh, filled with so much joy that he didn’t know what to do with it. It was an unfamiliar feeling.

“You like it,” Anthony said, his voice practically dripping with a sort of satisfaction that sounded  _ fond, _ and Loki revelled in it all.

“I do,” he said, still breathless. He looked over his shoulders and saw so much green that it hurt his eyes. “I  _ do. _ ”

Anthony briefly pressed his lips to Loki’s temple, and then he let go of him. “Come.”

Loki yanked his eyes away from the sight to look at Anthony, who was already leading the way along the edge. The path was very narrow and bumpy and didn’t look very trustworthy; actually it looked like it wasn’t even  _ meant _ to be a path at all. Loki grinned and followed Anthony, a lightness to his step he wasn't quite used to.

“Where are we?” He asked, raising his voice so that it could be heard even in the wind that was tugging at their hair and clothes. “Alfheimr?”

“Midgard.”

“Midgard,” Loki repeated. He had been in Midgard before, three or four centuries ago, but he hadn’t known that it could be this beautiful. “It’s wonderful!”

Anthony snorted. “I know."

He didn’t laugh very often, at least not like this. The wind carried it over to Loki and his grin widened even more, widened until his cheeks started hurting. His heart was beating so quickly that he was  _ sure _ that Anthony could hear it.

They clambered about on the cliffs for a while, and Loki took care not to stumble, not even once, not even  _ almost. _ Eventually, the demon sat down on the very edge, legs dangling in the air like he wasn’t worried at all, and he probably wasn’t. 

Loki stayed standing a bit behind him, hesitating.

“Come here,” Anthony told him after a moment, amused.

Loki narrowed his eyes. “What about being careful?” 

Anthony rolled his eyes. “Being careful doesn't mean not taking any risks at all. It's about being clever enough not to get yourself killed in the process.”

Loki huffed. He had come up with enough pranks that had been more than a little risky, but he had also always made sure that he would get away with them. He also had made sure  _ several _ times that neither his brother nor his brother's idiot friends ended up dead because of taking an entirely uncalculated risk. So, yes, Loki completely agreed with Anthony here. But that he agreed meant that he'd lost what could have become an argument, and Loki didn't like losing arguments.

“I won’t let you fall,” Anthony said, laughing quietly. “Now come here _. _ ”

Loki bit his lip, thinking, and then made himself move. He carefully sat down next to Anthony, feeling like he would slide right off the edge in any passing second. Loki wasn’t scared of many things, but he’d never been particularly fond of heights. He tried not to show it, but naturally Anthony noticed, anyway.

“You can teleport now, can’t you?” He asked. “Even if you slip, you just need to think quickly enough.”

“I know,” Loki said. He was good at thinking quickly, so he knew that he didn’t have a reason to be scared. Sadly, fear was not rational. He looked at Anthony, who looked as at ease as one could possibly be. “Why this place?”

The demon shrugged. “I needed somewhere to take you. Thought you might like this.”

“I do,” Loki said again, looking down at the sea beneath them. It was frightening, yes, but also stunning. The water was almost turquoise where it clashed against the cliffs.

“The humans have made some sort of attraction out of this place." Anthony grinned. “They make an attraction out of everything.”

Loki looked at his companion, studying his face. Looked at his hands, too, because he simply couldn’t help himself. “You like them,” he said.

“Yeah. Everyone always says how dull they are, but - they’re not, really. They fit a lot of fun into their short lives.”

“Is that why you live here? On Midgard, I mean.”

Anthony glanced at Loki, smirking. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Loki scowled at him. “I would, yes."

“Maybe another time. Tell me about Yggdrasil.”

“Yggdrasil?”

“Yes. If you want to climb something, knowing how high it is will work in your favor. Tell me what you know.”

Loki did, and then Anthony told him everything Loki  _ hadn’t _ known about Yggdrasil. Loki soaked everything up just like he always did. When they were done, the sun was gone, and the sea was black and endless beneath them.

~~~

Sadly, skywalking back to Asgard was slightly less exciting than skywalking out of it. In fact, when Loki saw the familiar outlines of his bedroom, he felt a little sick. He swallowed, forcing the feeling back down to where it had come from. His eyes were already seeking out Anthony and found him still in the room, in safe distance. He was watching Loki attentively.

“Can we go back there some time?” Loki asked, a little bit too quickly. In a hurry to start a conversation before Anthony disappeared again.

“If you’d like,” Anthony said, then slowly started smiling. “Come here.”

Loki went and didn’t protest - of course he didn’t protest - when Anthony put his hands on Loki’s hips, pulling him closer. 

“We'll start with practicing skywalking next time,” Anthony said, thumbs digging into the hollows just next to Loki's hip bones.

Loki stared at him. “Really?”

“Mh-hm.”

Loki nodded, all but buzzing in excitement. “How? How will we practice?”

“I'll show you how to do it.” Anthony brought his hands up to the collar of Loki's jacket and began taking it off. “Step by step.”

Loki looked down at Anthony's deftly moving fingers and found it rather difficult to concentrate all of a sudden. “So you will take me skywalking again?”

“Until you're sick of it,” Anthony confirmed, finally sliding the jacket off Loki's shoulders.

Loki looked at the demon's face again, surprised. “I could never be sick of it.”

“Eh, we'll see about that.” Anthony tossed Loki's jacket onto the bed and then loosened the laces of Loki's tunic. “Actually, I bet that you're going to get  _ very _ sick after seven times, tops.”

“You underestimate me,” Loki said, scoffing. He decided to ignore the fact that he  _ had _ already felt a little sick after just two times of skywalking earlier. “I would at least make it through fifteen jumps.”

“Fifteen,” Anthony repeated with a laugh. “Well then, my prince. Let's say you do make it through fifteen jumps in our next lesson - then I will let you keep the books.”

Loki's eyes flickered to his bed, under which the chest with Anthony's books was still sitting. “All of them?”

“Every single one.”

Loki looked back at Anthony, eyes wide. Anthony raised a brow at him. His fingers had found the hem of Loki's tunic, and after a moment Loki lifted his arms so the demon could pull his shirt over his head.

“What if I do not make it through fifteen jumps?” Loki asked, trying to hide his nervousness. Half naked in front of another man who  _ wanted _ him; that was definitely a first. “What do you get?”

Anthony didn't hold Loki's gaze. Instead, he watched as he carded his fingers through Loki's hair, gathering up one of the strands that framed Loki's face. Loki wore it shoulder-long; he actually liked it when it was even longer, but then it got into the way too often when he didn't tie it back.

“A strand of your hair,” Anthony said, his voice much quieter than usual.

Loki raised a brow. “Whatever would you need one for?”

“That's none of your business, little god.”

“Stop calling me that. Or else -”

Loki stopped abruptly, his tongue very nearly stumbling over the words it had wanted to form when Anthony pulled him close again. His hand was pleasantly warm on Loki's back and his breath even warmer on Loki's lips, and Loki - once again - forgot how to breathe. Anthony's mouth widened into a grin.

“Yes? Else  _ what, _ sweetheart?”

Loki decided that kissing Anthony was as good a way to end this conversation as any other - actually the best way to end it, he thought. Anthony seemed to agree; he kissed Loki back at once, with the same thoroughness he had displayed two nights ago. After a few minutes of this, of lips moving and tongues meeting and fingernails scraping ever so slightly over Loki's back, Loki kind of missed that tree he'd been pinned against. Something to hold onto would have… come in handy.

After some time - who knew how many minutes had passed after all; Loki certainly hadn't managed to keep count -, Anthony pulled back with a soft chuckle.

“You can touch me, too, you know,” he muttered, clearly amused. “This isn't a one-way street.”

Loki was breathing a little harshly, but he thought that his voice sounded remarkably even when he said, “It's payment. Isn't it?”

Something about that seemed to bother the demon. He took hold of Loki's chin, stopping him from looking away. “This is of no worth to me if you don't enjoy it, Loki.”

“But I do enjoy it,” Loki said, without having to think about it. “You know I do.”

Anthony studied him for a moment longer, then nodded and let go of Loki's chin. His hands slid down to the sides of Loki's throat, fingers playing with the hair that fell down to Loki's shoulders. 

“And what do you want?” Anthony asked, his tone already deliciously low. “Right now, what do you want to give me?”

_Everything,_ was Loki's first thought, but he couldn't possibly say that. He couldn’t say it because it was true, and because, when he asked himself _why_ , the only answers he came up with were blurry half-truths that did not explain anything. He shouldn’t have wanted to give a demon anything at all, but Anthony… He was not like Loki had thought a demon would be. He was so much more _fascinating_ than everybody else Loki knew, and even if he was playing his own game, even if he planned to ruin Loki in the end - Loki didn’t care. He didn’t _care._

Nobody had ever told him that he could be anything of worth, and Anthony had said he could be  _ brilliant. _

“I want to return the favor,” Loki said. He fought the urge to avert his eyes; he didn't  _ want _ to look away. “If you'd let me.”

Anthony responded with a crooked smile and a kiss that quickly deepened. It left Loki a little frenzied, and maybe he would have been ashamed of the sound he made if it hadn't led to Anthony holding him even tighter and kissing him even harder. He blindly reached down to open Anthony’s belt, trembling fingers pulling at the buckle until it opened. They brushed against warm skin, and Loki couldn't help but slide his hands under the demon's shirt to touch  _ more _ of that skin, until his fingers would be familiar with every patch of it.

Anthony made a pleased noise and Loki drank it right up, already aching to hear more sounds like that. He all but dug his nails into Anthony's sides, knowing that he wasn't able to actually hurt the demon, anyway. Still, when Anthony broke the kiss and took his hands away from Loki's back, Loki almost thought he'd somehow overstepped, but then he realized that Anthony was just shrugging off his jacket. He flashed a sharp smile and cupped Loki's face, kissing him again.

Somehow, they made it to the bed. Loki wasn't entirely aware of the fact that they had been moving at all, so he was startled when they suddenly toppled over. The backs of Anthony’s knees had hit the edge of Loki’s bed, which resulted in Loki landing on top of the demon with annoyingly little grace. 

The surprise must have shown on Loki’s face, because Anthony started laughing quietly. Loki glared at him and began climbing off him, but Anthony was faster. He  _ tsked _ and wrapped an arm around Loki, pulling him back down to him again.

“I humbly apologize for laughing, my prince. I'm awfully sorry, really.”

“Oh, of course,” Loki replied dryly, supporting himself on the mattress with one hand. "And I humbly apologize for not believing you."

Anthony laughed, but didn't say anything. Loki was still lying half on top of Anthony, who didn’t seem at all bothered by it. In fact, the demon reached up to brush Loki’s hair out of the way and then let his hand come to rest on Loki’s nape. He was smiling, his eyes even darker than usual, which Loki wouldn’t even have believed possible. Having Anthony look him like that might just be the most addictive thing about this.

“I like you like this,” Anthony murmured, his other hand wandering over Loki’s naked back. “Being on top suits you.”

Loki couldn’t suppress a shiver when Anthony’s fingertips slipped under the waistband of Loki’s pants. The young god’s voice was hoarse when he asked, “It does?”

Anthony hummed affirmatively and propped himself up on one elbow to kiss Loki. In didn’t take long until Loki scrambled to straddle the demon, wanting to be as close as possible. Anthony let him - encouraged him, even, both with an approving moan and his hands stroking over Loki’s back. Loki didn’t even try to keep his hips from bucking, grinding down against the demon, and let out an involuntary whine when one of Anthony’s hands found Loki’s ass and  _ stayed there, _ squeezing tightly in a manner that could only be described as possessive. Loki had to pause their kiss, turning his head to catch his breath, and Anthony used it to mouth at Loki’s throat instead. Loki shuddered at the feeling of sharp teeth scraping his skin, eyes fluttering shut.

He swore he could feel Anthony’s lips stretch into a grin against his neck. He could also feel the demon’s hand grabbing his hip so tightly that it would probably leave bruises; an image that made Loki’s mind go horrifyingly, astonishingly blank. 

“Come on,” Anthony muttered, the words almost a growl. “Come  _ on.” _

Loki whined, again, and braced himself on the mattress as well as he could with his frantic fingers. He rolled his hips, felt just how hard Anthony was beneath him, how hard they both were and how  _ perfectly _ they fit together, even with a fair amount of clothing still between them. Anthony kept whispering to Loki, his breath hot against Loki’s skin, sending sparks all across it, and his hands on Loki’s hips pushed them down and down and down again, until Loki had lost even his last clear thought.

Something flared up. Loki could feel it tingling over his skin and charging through him, something entirely strange and at the same time so shockingly familiar. Loki had sensed it when Anthony had appeared in his room the first time, and then again every time Anthony used his magic, and gods, Loki  _ knew _ what this was. A sort of magic that was as old as Yggdrasil herself, and so dark and powerful that it had been forbidden eons ago.

Loki didn't know what exactly Anthony was doing. Maybe he wasn't doing anything at all, maybe he was just losing himself just like Loki was, and either way - Loki did not care. No, he soaked it up greedily, every part of his body abuzz with the feel of it, with the feel of that ancient power surging through  _ his _ veins, almost too much for him to take. 

When he came, it was with his face buried into the crook of Anthony’s shoulder and Anthony moaning praise into his ear. Loki could feel the demon’s hips twitching, too, thrusting up to meet Loki’s, and belatedly remembered the point of this all - returning the favor, wasn’t it? Well, judging by Anthony's low moan and his hitching breath, that was also being taken care of. 

Loki couldn't stifle his probably giddy smile as he scattered lazy kisses on Anthony's neck. Anthony seemed to like it, he chuckled softly and ran his hands over Loki's back, the touch so gentle that Loki all but melted into it.

For the few blissful moments before his thoughts came back to him, Loki felt entirely satisfied.

Then, though,  _ then _ \- he didn’t know what to do with himself. It was too hot in the room, hotter than it should have been, and when he opened his eyes he was met with a darkness that looked different, not at all like the sort of darkness that was created by lack of light, and Loki couldn’t help but wonder about what happened to the Fallen.

“Shh,” Anthony murmured, wrapping his arms around Loki and holding him tight. “Breathe. Light your candles. You’ll be fine.”

Loki lit his candles.

It took him less than a thought - he kept so many candles in his room, candles that never burned down and would never dare to burn his books, candles that shone green whenever he wanted and lit up the darkness, just enough that he could breathe again. He stared at the ones nearest to them - two candles on his bedside table -, fingers twitching and playing with the same green fire that now tinged the room in its dim light.

Loki lit his candles, and felt better at once - he  _ was _ the god of fire, after all.

“Stay,” he demanded, and the chest beneath him moved as Anthony chuckled.

“Whatever my prince wishes,” he said, his both teasing and startlingly soft.

Loki felt Anthony’s magic wash over him, a tingling that bordered on being too hot but also never stopped being pleasant. Loki found himself being freed from his clothes - hel, he had really been wearing his pants and boots the whole time - and, even better, he found Anthony being naked, too. 

Loki tucked himself against the demon’s side, head resting on Anthony’s shoulder. He simply couldn’t resist; he had to trail his fingers over Anthony’s chest. There was something odd in the middle of it, something that felt like a perfect circle of thin scars, but before Loki could inspect it further, Anthony took hold of Loki’s wrist and gently led it away from the mark. He had tensed, just a bit, and Loki decided to leave it alone. He moved his hand lower, and Anthony relaxed again. There even was another chuckle, one that made Loki want to close his eyes and ignore, well - everything else.

“Careful,” Anthony said when Loki’s fingers reached the demon's hip bones. “If you keep going, you might not get a lot of rest tonight.”

Loki was unimpressed. “Who says I need rest?”

“I do.” Anthony started carding his fingers through Loki’s hair. “Otherwise we have to postpone our lesson tomorrow, which means -”

“No skywalking,” Loki said with an only slightly exaggerated sigh. “Yes, fine. If you insist on being utterly boring, I won’t stand in your way.”

“Did you really just call  _ me _ boring?”

“You heard me.”

Anthony echoed Loki's sigh in a similarly exaggerated manner. “That tongue of yours will get you in great trouble some day.”

“And it will get me out of it as well.”

“I sure hope so. Now go to sleep before I do something I might regret.”

“Mh. Such as?”

“ _ Loki. _ Sleep.”

~~~

In the morning, Anthony was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cliffs they visit are the [Cliffs of Moher](https://www.google.com/search?q=cliffs+of+moher+sunset&rlz=1C1CHBF_deDE771DE771&sxsrf=ACYBGNRVXmMDYDAFRgf2A3loqmBkuBX0_g:1579073613524&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjIqrvOi4XnAhXEJlAKHZNpCgcQ_AUoAXoECAwQAw&biw=1280&bih=610) in Ireland!


	3. Chapter 3

After thirteen jumps, Loki threw up onto his own boots, so naturally he spent the next hour sulking. Anthony decided that they should wait a little before skywalking back to Asgard, so they sat around deep in a vast Midgardian forest and waited for Loki's stomach to remember that he wasn't in the In-Between anymore.

Loki had to admit that the forest was beautiful. In the last two hours, he had seen many corners of it, since Anthony had jumped between Loki's bedroom in Asgard and different places of the same area in Midgard. He had even taken Loki to a Midgardian town, and they had also met some Midgardians who had apparently been on a walk through the forest, carrying big backpacks and two odd walking sticks. If they had been surprised to see Loki's - for them - strange clothes, they hadn't shown it, though Loki bet that they had  _ not _ seen them at all.

Loki had taken seat on the moss that covered the roots of the tree he was leaning against, looking sulkily at his boots. Anthony had cleaned them with a flick of his wrist, but it had still been disgusting _ ,  _ and Loki was annoyed with himself for not having endured longer. And for not having won their bet.

Thankfully, Anthony did not tease him. When he crouched in front of Loki, he just gave him one of his crooked smiles and offered him a bottle that he had plucked out of nowhere. "Here, drink."

Frowning, Loki took and opened the bottle to smell at the clear liquid. 

"It's just water," Anthony said. 

Briefly, Loki considered checking with magic, but then he just took a sip. His dry throat thanked him, and he was glad to be rid of the awful taste in his mouth.

Anthony sat down next to Loki, shifting until he had found a comfortable spot between the thick roots. "You know," he said, "the very first time  _ I  _ skywalked, I couldn't even walk properly anymore."

Loki turned his head to frown at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. Everything kept," Anthony grinned and lifted a finger, moving it in quick circles, "spinning. I was stuck in Muspelheim for  _ days _ before I found a portal I could take."

"Why did you skywalk to Muspelheim of all places?" Loki asked. He'd been there a few times - not to explore, only to fight. The Fire Giants and the Frost Giants were the last existing people of the Jötnar, and both races were gruesome. Apart from that, Muspelheim was so  _ hot _ . Every time he’d been there, Loki had felt like the heat would kill him before the Jötnar even got the chance to try.

"Eh, I  _ wanted _ to skywalk to Vanaheim," Anthony said, shrugging. "But I didn't know what I was doing, so I slipped and landed somewhere else." He paused, then added, "I was lucky that I didn't end up in the Void."

Loki looked at him. Anthony's smirk didn't entirely fit to the thoughtful look in his eyes, and Loki was not sure what was going on in the demon's head. But still, Anthony was  _ talking,  _ and that had to mean something.

"But you got better at it in time," Loki said, curious. 

"Sure. I didn't have much of a choice." In reaction to Loki's questioningly raised brow, Anthony explained, "See, when you get summoned by someone in another realm, finding a portal gets very annoying very quickly."

"Who taught you?"

"Nobody."

"I imagine that was quite difficult."

Anthony snorted. "Yeah, you could say that. Took me ages - but well, I've never had much natural talent for this sort of stuff."

Loki stared at him doubtfully. "You are the most powerful mage I have ever encountered."

"Yup," Anthony said, smirking. "Make of that what you will."

How old was he, then? For someone without  _ much _ natural magical talent to get  _ this _ strong… Loki couldn't even imagine how much determination and practice that must have taken. And time - so much time.

"Well," Loki said, frowning, "I hope it will not take me just as long."

At that, Anthony laughed. "Loki, you made it through thirteen jumps today. Some wouldn't even survive a single one. You're a natural."

Loki looked down at his boots, hesitating. Eventually, he asked, "Do you really think so?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Loki sighed. "Asks the demon."

Anthony laughed again, but he didn't give a proper answer to Loki's question. Instead he asked, "How are you feeling?"

Loki briefly considered going back to pouting, but then he just shrugged. "Fine."

"Yeah? Because there's a village nearby, do you think you'd survive that?" 

Loki pinned Anthony with a glare and stood up, relieved when he found that he wasn't dizzy anymore. Loki brushed a bit of dirt off his pants and looked down at Anthony, who made no move to get on his feet.

Loki arched a brow. "Well,  _ I  _ am ready."

Anthony snorted and stood up, then led the way into the presumable direction of the village. Loki kept in step with him easily, although he had to admit, at least to himself, that he still felt a little queasy. He was sure that Anthony noticed it - he noticed everything -, but thankfully he didn't comment.

"Have you been in Midgard before?"

"Yes," Loki replied. "A few centuries ago. Has it changed much? Civilization-wise, I mean."

"You won't recognize it," Anthony said, laughing. "Well, maybe. This is a village in the middle of nowhere, there's not much happening there. But you should see New York - I think you would like it."

_ New York,  _ Loki thought, neatly filing the two words away in a mental folder that was labeled  _ important. _

~~~

Loki did not want to have dinner with his family. He was also fairly sure that his family did not want to have dinner with him, either. Well, except his mother maybe. She actually looked very happy to see him, at least until the second she really looked at him.

"Oh, darling," she breathed out as Loki sat down at across from her. "What have you done?"

"Well, obviously I cut my hair," Loki replied. "Please don't act like it's the end of the world."

"But you looked lovely with it a little bit longer."

"It will _grow_ _back,_ mother."

She raised a brow at him, a silent question that told Loki that his foul mood hadn't gone unnoticed. He just shrugged in response and reached for his glass to take a sip of mead. 

"I think it looks good," Thor chimed in, nodding. It was nice that he wanted to assist Loki, but then he added, "Less like a woman."

Loki sighed. "Why, Thor, thank you so much. Remind me, who of us spends hours braiding his hair in the morning?"

"And who of us can actually turn into a -"

"Boys," Frigga interrupted them. "Enough. Let's agree that you both have every right to look however you please and not be teased for it, yes?"

They both nodded and muttered an apology, and after a moment Thor said, "I'm sorry, brother. I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't," Loki said, which was true.  _ He _ did not mind being "accused" of looking like a woman. Actually, he quite liked looking like a woman now and then.

"It suits you, really," Thor insisted, sounding earnest.

"Thank you." Loki rolled his eyes, but didn't manage to suppress a tiny smile when Thor grinned crookedly at him.

"Is there an occasion we should know of?"

Loki's eyes immediately snapped to his father, who hadn't deemed the conversation worthy of joining until now. "I'm sorry?"

Odin was looking at him more attentively than he had in a while. He had even stopped eating, just to frown at Loki in mild suspicion. "An occasion," he repeated. "For the change."

"Oh," Loki said. "No. Spur of the moment, really."

"I see," Odin said, and turned back to his meal.

_ Damn. _

~~~

He hadn’t seen Anthony in a few days. The demon had decided that the rest would do Loki good after his first skywalking marathon, and Loki hadn’t had another choice but to grudgingly agree. He had slept for almost twenty hours after Anthony had brought him back to Asgard.

Anthony had taken a strand of Loki's hair before he had left. No, that wasn't quite right - Loki had cut it off himself. He had given it away.

Before he had summoned his demon, Loki had spent so many nights alone in the library, burying himself in books. It had been easy. He had been able to sit in the same spot for hours, in absolute silence, with only ancient stories keeping him company. And he still loved it, both the silence and the stories, but now he also… found himself getting restless.

What happened to the Fallen?

Loki traced the long dried ink with his fingertips, made himself familiar with the arcs of the a's and the dots above the i's. He had stopped reading a long time ago, losing himself in his thoughts. The book was older than his father. Older than his grandfather, even.

His candle died out.

Loki looked up. He frowned into the sudden darkness until his eyes remembered that they weren't actually bothered by it, until he could make out the silhouettes of the shelves. Loki raised a brow, but didn't light his candle again.

It shouldn't have been possible to get even darker in the library, but as the seconds ticked by, Loki found that the shelves became harder to see. And that sort of darkness, the unforgiving, unrelenting sort that was entirely unimpressed by any form of light - Loki knew it well by now.

"Is this really necessary?" He asked and, all at once the darkness returned to being the normal sort.

When he made his candle flicker up green again, he could see Anthony leaning against the shelf nearest to Loki. Loki hoped that the demon had at least remembered to hide himself from prying eyes.

"You were frightened of me once," he said. "I'm not sure what happened."

"Nothing happened," Loki replied and turned back to the book. "I'm shivering with fear, can't you see?"

Anthony chuckled. “You cut your hair.”

“What is it with everybody’s need to point out the obvious?” Loki countered. “Also, what was I supposed to do? I could hardly run around with one strand so much shorter than the others.”

Anthony didn’t reply. He walked around the table and leaned against it right next to Loki, looking down at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” 

“Don’t lie to me, little god.”

Loki glared up at him, then said, “I think my father suspects something.”

“Of course he does,” Anthony said lightly. He reached out for the book and closed it to read the title. “Ah, I see. Shouldn’t you have read about demons before summoning one?”

“I am not an  _ amateur, _ of course I did.” 

“But?”

“But,” Loki said, “there are still things I don’t understand. Things no book explains.”

Anthony looked at him for a while, a thoughtful crease between his eyes. Then he said, "Some things can't be written down. Some things are better left unexplained."

"Oh, please. You don't believe that. You are the god of  _ knowledge,  _ you value it over -"

"I am  _ not  _ the god of knowledge," Anthony interrupted him, the sound of his voice so cutting that it made Loki hold his breath. "I am not a god at all anymore, and the details of how it happened are none of your business."

There was a look in Anthony's eyes that Tony had not seen before - pain.  _ Pain. _ The shadows in the library were growing darker again, and a hollow feeling of guilt quelled up in Loki's chest.

"I'm sorry," he said hesitantly. "I did not mean to - remind you."

The pained look disappeared again, getting replaced by resignation. "You don't have to apologize for being curious," Anthony said with a sigh. "Not to me." 

Loki nodded and decided to let it go, even though Anthony had misunderstood him. Fine, he would have liked to hear about details of Anthony's fall, but right now he had been more after… general information. Hypothetical answers to hypothetical questions.

A few seconds passed, filled with an awkwardness that was unfamiliar, then Anthony looked away, at the other books on the table. “What else have you been reading?”

“Oh.” Loki, actually quite grateful for the change of topic, chose another book from his pile and slid it over to the demon. “Here. It’s about solid illusions."

Anthony hummed and flicked through the book, only mildly interested in what it had to say. "Fooling everybody's eyes is not enough, hm?"

"It's easy," Loki said.  _ Too _ easy, really. Illusions that flickered out and disappeared as soon as anyone came too close to them were hardly of any use; they were too easily found out. "But no, not enough."

"Of course not." Anthony seemed amused as he shut the book. "Well, the easiest way to practice this is by creating doubles of existing things - here." He grabbed Loki's writing quill and held it up. "This will do. Now imagine -"

He stopped abruptly, eyes fixed on the quill Loki was suddenly holding between two fingertips. The black feather had not been there just a second before, and now it glistened green in Loki's candlelight, looking every inch like quill Loki had used as a model.

“Thank you,” Loki said. He didn't bother to keep his smugness in check; he had long figured out that Anthony liked it when he was smug, when he was  _ proud. _ “But I already got that far myself.”

“I can see that.” Anthony was already smirking when he reached out to touch the quill. He stroked over the feathers, eyes narrowing slightly, and then let his hand sink again. “Well, damn.”

Loki stared at Anthony, and after a moment the demon caught his gaze and grinned.

“I can't tell,” he said.

“I'm sorry?” Loki said, his eyes wide.

Anthony laughed. “If I didn't know that this is not real, I wouldn't be able to tell.”

It took a moment of more wide-eyed staring, but then Loki understood. He almost laughed, caught between disbelief and sheer giddiness, but somehow he managed to simply grin instead. “Really, now. Managed to fool the all-powerful demon, did I?”

“All-powerful, eh?”

“Oh, now you're just missing the point on purpose.” Loki put the cloned quill on the desk. “You are impressed, there's no shame in admitting it.”

“No, there's not,” Anthony agreed, grinning now as well. When he reached out this time, it was to put his hand on Loki's cheek and tilt his face up. 

He kissed Loki in a way that was so gentle that it could have been disturbing. It wasn't disturbing, though, not at all. In fact he liked it more than he probably should have. He couldn’t help it; he craved this gentleness with an urgency that scared him. He reached up to cup Anthony’s face, draw him closer, but before he could touch him Anthony pulled back. 

There was something odd in the demon’s eyes as he looked away. Loki wasn’t sure what to name it, and even though it made him worry a little he thought that it would be better to say nothing. Anthony did not talk about what was going on in his head when he didn’t want to, and he almost always didn’t want to.

Anthony’s eyes sought out the feather again, and his smirk returned. “Even distracted you manage to hold up the illusion, huh? Should I be insulted?”

“No,” Loki said. “Simply distract me better next time.”

Anthony snorted, and Loki made the feather vanish with a dismissive flick of his wrist. He could keep the illusion perfect for quite some time, but eventually the feathers would start to flicker, and there would be something off about it. It wouldn't feel real anymore when somebody tried to touch it. Also Loki would get a headache - solid illusions were very difficult to maintain. Constructing them meant doing something between creating completely solid matter from scratch and fooling everybody else's senses until they didn't even bother to check if said matter was real or not, and many mages did not even have as much imagination and creativity as was needed. But Loki  _ could _ do it - he was very, very good at crafting all sorts of illusions, and he had only gotten better in the last weeks. 

Still, there was something that he hadn't managed yet, at least not to his satisfaction. "I've been experimenting with something," he told Anthony, "but I can't get it quite right."

Anthony seemed glad to return to familiar grounds. "Let me see."

Loki concentrated, and after a moment an exact copy of him appeared on the other side of the desk. The image flickered and shifted a little before it became more solid, more convincing. It wasn't the first illusion of himself Loki had created, but he had only started working on actual  _ clones _ a few days ago, before they had started their skywalking lessons. He thought they might be useful, but only if he could make them authentic enough to fool both of his parents. His mother had yet seen through every single illusion Loki had crafted, and he found that it was time to change that.

"Ah," Anthony said, taking in the sight of the clone with analytical eyes. "Why, would you look at that."

He jumped up and walked around the desk and then around the clone, looking at the fake Loki out of every angle. The cloned turned his head, watching Anthony watching him.

"He is not good enough yet," Loki said into the silence. He almost loathed breaking it; the rapt attention with which Anthony regarded the clone was somewhat fascinating. "But I'm not sure what I need to improve."

"Well, first of all," Anthony said, coming to stand right in front of the clone, "this is an _it,_ and you don't want it to become a _he._ That would only lead to problems you don't need. Understood?"

Loki frowned and nodded. "Yes."

Anthony took hold of the clone's chin to keep his -  _ its  _ head still. He looked right into the green eyes that looked exactly like Loki's, only much more… well. Lifeless.

"It's a sad sight, this one," Anthony said quietly. "Puppet's eyes. There's nothing behind them." He threw a smirk in Loki's direction. "It  _ is _ a puppet, of course, but you don't want it to look like one."

Loki had already known that, so the criticism neither surprised nor disappointed him. "I know, but how do I make it look  _ real?" _

He simply didn't understand what the problem was - Loki had thought about everything from the posture to the way it should move; the clone was a  _ perfect _ copy.

Ah, well. Maybe that was exactly the problem. Maybe the clone looked like this - so bland, so boring - because  _ Loki _ looked like this, too. Which would mean that there wouldn't even be anything to improve. 

Anthony sighed. "You don't understand," he said, only that his mouth hadn't moved - his voice came from  _ behind _ Loki, but before Loki could turn around, there were hands on his shoulders that kept him from moving.

He could feel warm breath brushing his ear.

"Didn't notice that, did you?" Anthony asked, his wide smile audible. "Master of illusions that you are, tell me - am I real?"

Loki had stilled, had even stopped breathing. He stared at the Anthony he could see, who still stood by Loki's clone and looked just like Anthony always looked. Loki hadn't even bothered to check if it  _ was _ Anthony or not, but now he did - with the result that he still wasn't sure whether it was Anthony or not.

Anthony behind him chuckled, and one of his hand squeezed Loki's shoulder before gathering up his hair to brush it out of the way. "Perhaps I am. I was born inside of this body, at least, not created by magic. Look at mine, then -" His fingers wandered over Loki's throat, lifting his chin a little so that he kept looking at Anthony's clone instead of turning around to look at Anthony. "It looks just like me, doesn't it? Smiles just like me, too, and you'd feel it if you touched it. It it  _ unreal?" _

"It's not you," Loki said, barely enough air in his lungs to form the words.

"No," Anthony agreed. "It's not. But, see - Reality is such a  _ boring _ thing, darling. You're talented enough to make it whatever you wish; why should you bother with making things look  _ real?" _ He pressed his lips to Loki's neck, his smile into Loki's skin. "Make them look alive instead. That's worth a lot more."

"But  _ how -" _

"Look at yours," Anthony interrupted. His clone disappeared. "Now, do you know what I see when I look at you?"

Loki swallowed and shook his head.

“Well, certainly not that.” Anthony paused, then added, “Seeing something that looks exactly like you but is so entirely  _ empty _ is… disturbing. You're not empty, Loki. Don't insult yourself by thinking that you are.”

“I am not - not  _ insulting _ myself, the clone is just -”

“A visual manifestation of how you see yourself,” Anthony said, lips ghosting over Loki's ear again. “You are not a puppet, are you? You're alive. You're  _ brilliant,  _ but your clones won't fool anyone until you learn to be comfortable in this skin of yours. Lose a little bit of control.”

Loki did not like this lesson. He also didn't like to lose control, had spent his whole life doing nothing but try to  _ gain _ control. And he had gotten very good at it. His self-control was all but flawless. He'd learned very early on that someone like him wouldn't get far by letting anyone know what he was thinking, how he was feeling. He'd learned that his father was more willing to oversee his faults when he was quiet and polite, so Loki had  _ become _ quiet and polite. All his pranks were prepared and then crafted in silence, and the venom in his voice came and disappeared again so quickly that it often went unnoticed. Loki was a manipulator, not an open aggressor; he got exactly what he wanted without letting anyone even notice that he was trying to get anything. And that was - it was  _ good. _ It was how he could fit into a world that would like to spit him out, by  _ pretending  _ that he fit. He wasn't like Thor, after all, he needed to choose different ways, different methods. 

Loki felt sick. He made his damned clone disappear and stood up to turn and look at Anthony. The demon had straightened and now rested his arms on the backrest of the chair, watching Loki closely. Loki wasn’t sure what he wanted to say - he was angry, probably. He just didn’t know whether he was angry with Anthony or himself. 

He didn’t say anything in the end, just leaned against the desk and averted his eyes, unable to keep looking at Anthony. He knew that the demon was telling him something, something rather important, but Loki didn’t fully understand. He didn’t even  _ want _ to understand; actually, it scared him to death. He was back in the forest, thoughts once again stumbling over the words  _ wasted here in Asgard,  _ and he still had no idea what to do with that.

“It’s alright,” Anthony said after a long moment, his tone still calm. “You’ll get there.”

Loki scoffed and met the demon’s eyes again. “Do I  _ want _ to get there?”

Anthony shrugged, and his smile returned. “I can’t tell you that.”

Loki didn’t reply. He looked away again, thinking his confusing thoughts and wondering what he was supposed to do _.  _ People didn’t know it when they were puppets. Fastening invisible strings to their limbs without letting them know, that was what manipulation  _ was. _ He thought about his mother, about his father. Even about the Norns, sitting down there and whispering to each other, tending to their tree. The original string-weavers.

_ Coward,  _ he'd been called more times than he could count. Now he started wondering if  _ puppet _ might fit him just as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time, they visited the Black Forest in Germany!


	4. Chapter 4

Loki didn’t often speak to his father alone. When he had been younger, Odin had called him to his study every other week, to chide or shout at him, but now he barely even looked at Loki anymore. Loki learned of his punishments through Frigga, mostly; she would come to him with that worried crease between her eyes and words like,  _ Loki, you have to stop playing tricks on the guards,  _ or,  _ Loki, you can’t go on stealing Sif’s swords just because you find her annoying. _ And Loki would sigh and accept the fact that he’d been found out, and then he would accept his punishment as well, or at least pretend to. Sometimes, Odin forbade him to hide in the library for a few weeks, or he sent him on a few hunting trips with Thor and his friends. Now and then Loki even had to do  _ paperwork _ \- Asgard might have been the Realm Eternal, but the Realm Eternal still had finances to take care of, and Loki couldn’t think of an activity that was  _ less _ boring. 

When he knocked at the door of his father’s study this time, he half expected to be directed to a folder of neglected papers. The prospect annoyed him even more than it would usual, because first of all, he hadn’t even done anything  _ wrong _ , and second, there had been a battle today and he was, even though he naturally wouldn’t admit it, exhausted. He had always found fighting the Fire Giants especially bothersome, simply because he considered their use of a fire against  _ him _ a personal insult. Their riots were so senseless, too; they didn’t have the slightest chance to beat Asgard at this point. 

Loki waited in front of the door until Odin invited him in - Odin liked to make people wait -, and then quietly slid inside. He closed the door behind him and approached his father’s desk, where Odin was bent over some letters. From Vanaheim, probably; the Vanir had demanded a new trade treaty a few weeks ago. Oh, Loki would much rather take a look at that, political negotiations were so much more interesting than computations.

“You wanted to see me?” Loki asked, his hands behind his back. He did his best to look attentive, even though he was already bored.

“Yes.” Odin raised his head and looked Loki up and down, taking his time. “Are you hurt?”

“Am I -” Loki cut himself off, staring at his father. He was sure that he hadn’t heard that right. “Excuse me?”

“Are you hurt?” Odin repeated, looking down at his desk again just briefly, to put his name under whatever he had written. “Your brother mentioned a leg wound.”

Loki clenched his jaw. Of  _ course _ Thor had to tell on him; he’d probably been proud that he had gotten out of the battle without so much as a scratch while Loki had been dragging his leg behind himself on the way home. And of course Odin had to probe into it now, even though he had to know that Loki had healed his leg as soon as he’d gotten the chance.

“Yes,” Loki said, keeping his tone even, “but I’m fine now, thank you. There’s no reason to be worried.”

Odin glanced at Loki again, his eye narrowing a little. “I hope you took care of the one who got you.”

“Of course, father.”

“We can’t let injuring one of the princes of Asgard go unpunished.”

“Yes, father.”

Odin stayed silent for a moment, then he sighed and put down his quill. “Thor also said that you fought very well today. I’m inclined to believe him.”

What did that even mean? Loki suppressed a sigh of his own and stayed quiet, waiting for whatever Odin wanted to tell him.

“You are making great progress as a mage these days. Without a teacher, that’s difficult to achieve. You can be proud of yourself.”

Loki forced himself to smile. “Thank you, father. I am trying my best.”

“I know, Loki. I hope you haven’t been neglecting your work with sword and spear, though?”

“I’ve been training every day.”

“Good.” Odin paused, then turned back to his work. “A delegation of the Vanir will arrive next week, to negotiate the treaty. Familiarize yourself with the matter until then; I want you to lead one or two of the meetings.”

“Of course. Yes.”

Odin nodded. “Go, then. Talk to your mother, she will be worried after speaking to Thor. And let a healer look at your leg if necessary.”

Loki nodded and got out of the room, not wanting to stay in his father’s company a single second longer.

~~~

Later that night, Anthony found Loki at the desk in his rooms, hunched over the correspondence between Asgard and Vanaheim. Loki was not in a particularly good mood, and that wasn’t improved when he heard Anthony chuckle from somewhere behind him.

“You study too much.”

“I am not studying,” Loki said. “I am  _ familiarizing _ myself with the current trade politics because my dear brother is both too lazy and too  _ dimwitted _ for the task.”

“Ah.”

“Yes. And father frames it as if -” Loki huffed out a brief and derisive laugh. “As if it is a reward, as if I should be thankful! Thankful to be the second choice, to be finally - once in my life - allowed to do something  _ useful.”  _ He turned around and put one arm on the backrest so that he could look at Anthony. “He knows something. He at least suspects I have a teacher, that's the only reason why he is doing this, and I -”

Loki cut himself off abruptly; his voice had started to quiver. 

“Yes?” Anthony prompted. He was already sprawled out on Loki's sofa, looking entirely out of place in his Midgardian clothes. He had picked up one of Loki's books from the side table and was half-heartedly flicking through it; his eyes were focused on Loki.

Loki lifted his shoulders, helpless. “I don't know what to do.”

“Well,” Anthony said, closing the book again. “You could still decide not to do it.”

“Ah, yes. And what would I gain by that?”

“Nothing much.”

Anthony set the book aside and frowned a little, eyes flickering over Loki's face. Loki knew what he saw, knew that he looked tired and upset. It made him uncomfortable, and he was sure Anthony could see that, too. They had seen each other a few times since they had met in the library, and now and then the atmosphere was still a little odd. Loki felt that now, too - a brittleness in the air between them, stretches of silences made awkward by sideward glances and unspoken words.

“Loki,” Anthony said in the end, his tone careful. “A bad king needs a skilled right hand. Odin knows that.”

Loki nodded, because yes, of course. He knew that, too. This did serve to lure Loki in, to convince him that he was needed, too, and  _ appreciated,  _ but it was also simple preparation. Just like letting Loki do paperwork as a punishment. 

He looked away, at his hands that had started to fidget, and clenched his teeth. Exhaustion and anger made his eyes burn with tears he was  _ not _ willing to shed. His voice didn't break, but it sounded very bitter when he asked, “But why choose a bad king?”

Anthony stayed silent; maybe he didn't know the answer, either.

See, it would go like this: in a few years, maybe in a decade, Thor would become king, and Loki would stay in his place as his brother’s closest advisor, to whom Thor only occasionally listened, and he would do all the actual work while Thor collected the glory like pretty hunting trophies. And when something went wrong, Thor would still find a way to blame it on Loki, who would then need to pick up the shards and glue them back together. It had always been like that between the brothers, and it wouldn't change just because one of them would be wearing a crown.

The worst thing about it was that Thor didn't even do it maliciously. He didn't know any better, had been practically taught to act like this since they were children. Odin didn't act differently, after all.

And Loki was so tired of it.

“Do you want to be king?” Anthony asked.

_ What do you desire? _ That had been Anthony's question in the night they had met, and this one sounded worryingly similar. It was the way Anthony spoke the words, there was an uncanny heaviness right underneath them that didn't fit to the light tone.

Loki looked at him, hiding his suspicion beneath a blank expression. “Is that a simple question or an offer?”

“Oh, the former,” Anthony replied. “Until you want it to be the latter.” He tilted his head to one side. “Do you?”

Loki couldn't muster a reply. He knew what he  _ should _ have said, but the words simply wouldn't pass his lips.

After a long moment, Anthony's lips curled into a barely there smirk. “You wouldn't like the price, anyway. Killing crown princes ain't cheap.”

Loki's stomach dropped right out of him. That was what it felt like, anyway; a disgustingly hollow feeling in the exact spot where anger had been seething a few moments ago. 

He didn't doubt that Anthony could do it and, even worse, he didn't doubt that Anthony  _ would _ have done it if Loki had asked and paid the price. A few days, maybe just a few hours, and then - gods. Asgard without Thor, what would that even look like? Loki couldn't imagine, didn't want to imagine the lack of roaring laughter, thunder, idiotic plans and reckless brawls. The mere thought made him sick.

“Do not harm him,” he said gravely. “Ever. Give me your word.”

Anthony looked at him, his face blank. “My word.”

“Yes.” Loki clenched his jaw. “Do you want something in return? Name your price, I -”

“No,” Anthony interrupted sharply, expression darkening. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and Anthony's voice softened when he repeated, “No. You don't have to give me anything, not for this.” He paused, then added, “He won't be hurt by my hand or doing.”

“Do you promise?”

“I do,” Anthony said. “You have my word."

Relief flooded Loki's veins. He nodded and started to relax, just a little - the temptation had been disposed of, the option was gone, Loki didn't have to think about it anymore. He did not want to hurt his brother. The last thing he wanted was to hurt his brother. 

There  _ had _ to be another way.

“What exactly are you planning?”

Loki looked up, surprised, and found Anthony watching him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. Loki couldn’t help but smile back. “Nothing as yet.”

Anthony laughed. “You’re going to get into trouble.”

“Don’t I always?”

Anthony grinned and stood up to come over to Loki. His smile faded a little when he stopped in front of the younger god, making Loki raise a brow.

“Shall we begin tonight’s lesson, then?” He asked, but Anthony shook his head.

“You're too tired to skywalk.”

“No, I -”

“Yes, you are,” Anthony interrupted. “You’ve had a long day, and you need to be able to concentrate to skywalk, especially if it’s the first time.”

Loki felt his eyes widen. “You mean -”

“Yup. I think it's about time you jump yourself. You know how to do it, after all.”

“Yes,” Loki said, already grinning. “I suppose I do.”

His excitement let him forget about the dark thoughts he’d had earlier. He had been waiting for this lesson since he had asked Anthony about skywalking for the first time and he couldn’t wait to actually try it. They had skywalked together many times by now, but it had always been Anthony navigating them. Loki did know how it worked, at least in theory. He had watched Anthony do it every single time. Still, the one time Loki had tried it himself - without Anthony’s knowledge or permission - hadn’t worked out like he had imagined. Namely, it hadn’t worked out at  _ all. _ Skywalking always looked so easy when the demon did it, as if manipulating Yggdrasil herself was nothing but a simple spell, a trick for beginners. Loki craved that effortlessness; he wanted to go wherever he wanted to go whenever he wanted to go, without anyone being able to hold him back.

“Where will we go to?” He asked, wanting to be as well prepared as possible. “Midgard?”

“Yes. South America.”

“South America,” Loki repeated, thoughtful. He wasn’t surprised. Midgard was their usual destination, simply because it was easy to reach. Anthony also happened to be incredibly fond of the little blue planet and its inhabitants; Loki had figured that out long ago. The demon knew hundreds of beautiful corners in Midgard, and Loki hadn’t yet been disappointed by his choices. 

“I’ll give you the details next time,” Anthony said, then gave Loki a stern look. “Do not try it on your own, do you hear me?”

“I’d never.”

“Oh, really? I could’ve sworn I felt you trying to jump a week ago.”

“Ah. Yes, well.”

“Yes, well,” Anthony parroted. He didn’t seem very annoyed, and also not very surprised. “Don’t do it again, or I’ll take a few of your books.”

“I wish you the best luck trying that,” Loki said, but was quickly distracted by something else. “You  _ felt _ me trying to jump?”

“Yes.” Anthony raised a brow. “What did you think I did with your hair? Put it in a pretty locket to carry it around with me?”

As soon as Loki understood, he was rather scandalized. “You put a  _ tracking spell _ on me?!”

“No, I put a ‘no skywalking until you’re ready’ spell on you,” Anthony said. “And you’re lucky I did, who knows where you would have landed otherwise.”

“That is  _ entirely _ unfair,” Loki declared, glaring at the demon. “Lift it, now.”

“Uh, yeah, I will - as soon as I’m sure you won’t get lost.” Anthony shook his head when Loki opened his mouth again. “Now stop arguing, for fuck’s sake. You’ll have the hang of it in no time, and then you’ll be free to merrily jump to wherever you want. Alright?”

Loki kept glaring, but he also knew that he didn’t have much of a choice. “Alright,” he said pointedly. “But you should find a way to make it up to me. Putting a spell on someone without their consent is not very polite.”

Anthony seemed unimpressed. “You’re aware that you’re talking to a demon, yes?”

“Of course. My point stands.”

“Right.” Anthony snorted, amused, then asked, “Well then. What can I do for my prince?”

Oh. That was rather nice.

Loki smiled sharply and met Anthony’s eyes. “You could take me to bed, for a start.”

Anthony’s brows shot up, somewhere between surprised and darkly pleased. “Oh?”

“I still owe you some firsts, do I not?” Loki said. He could positively watch as Anthony thought about the implications, the things they could and would do, and Loki had to say that he was starting to enjoy himself immensely. “Or have you forgotten about that?”

Anthony bared his teeth. “How could I?”

He wanted to lean down, probably aiming for a kiss, but Loki turned away and stood up before the demon could reach him. Loki bent over his desk to blow out the candle he’d needed to work, smirking to himself when he heard Anthony laugh quietly. Loki paused when he felt the touch of hands on his hips, warm lips pressed to his nape. He let out a breath, half in surprise and half in relief. He could tell that Anthony was smiling.

“What do you want to give me, then?” Anthony asked, his voice a low murmur. “Do you really want me to take you to bed, or shall I have you right here on the table?”

_ Oh. _ Loki swallowed and braced himself on the edge of the desk. “That would certainly be a first,” he said, breath catching, and was rewarded with a chuckle.

“Yes. And it would make you think about me, every time you sit down here to study your books. I’d like that.” Another kiss, almost open-mouthed this time, warm against the side of Loki’s neck. “But I'd like to see you in your bed, too, naked and spread out, just for me. You'd be so much more comfortable like that, don't you think?”

“Yes,” Loki agreed. “Quite.”

Anthony hummed, the grip of his hands tightening on Loki’s hips as he pulled him closer. “Yes. And I’d like to get my hands all over you - maybe my tongue, too, until you’re gasping and squirming and tearing at your princely bedsheets. Until I’m the only thing on your clever mind.” He let out a harsh breath; he seemed to like that fantasy. “How does that sound, Loki?”

The sound of his own name spoken in such a way - so heady, almost adoring,  _ gods _ \- made Loki shiver, and Anthony laughed again, 

“I do see you shivering now,” he said, sounding so pleased that Loki had to bite his lip to keep quiet. “It’s not fear, though, is it?”

Loki shook his head and squirmed a little in Anthony’s hold, deliberately pushing back against the demon’s crotch. He could tell that Anthony was hardening and oh, the power that lay in that and the way Anthony had spoken his name, how he held him tight and kissed his neck - Loki could get drunk on it all, he was sure of that. 

“Stop me,” Anthony breathed into Loki’s ear, “whenever you need. Just say the word.”

Loki nodded frantically, wanting Anthony to continue. He gasped when he felt Anthony’s hand on his throat, not pressing, just using the mild threat of it to tilt Loki’s head and mouth at the soft patch of skin right below Loki’s ear. Loki held onto the desk for dear life, basking in the attention, in all the tell-tale signs of how much he was wanted.

He managed to move and turn his head just enough to press his lips to Anthony’s mouth. He might have hit the corner of it instead or maybe even his jaw, but he didn’t care; it had the desired effect. Anthony let go and allowed Loki to turn around properly, and immediately Loki pulled Anthony close to kiss him. Anthony’s lips parted in a gasp as he pushed Loki against the desk, and his hands slipped under Loki’s tunic. The warmth of the slightly calloused palms had Loki pressing even closer, already turning to putty under Anthony’s touch. 

A sudden pain in his lower lip caused Loki to pull back, panting. He could taste copper on his tongue when he ran it over the tiny wound Anthony’s teeth had left in his lip. The demon was breathing just as raggedly, and he grinned crookedly - nervously? - at Loki while careful fingertips wandered over Loki’s jaw.

“Oops,” he said, which was not a particularly good apology if it was supposed to be one. 

But Loki wasn’t offended, he was too distracted by how sharp Anthony’s teeth seemed to be all of a sudden - for just a second, then the demon’s appearance turned back to normal again.

Loki had  _ known _ that he hadn’t imagined it the few times he’d seen that.

“Won’t happen again,” Anthony promised, but Loki grinned and buried a hand in Anthony’s hair to pull him closer again.

“Now that’s a shame,” he whispered against Anthony’s lips, “because I think I might like it.”

Anthony let out a moan and kissed Loki again, sliding his tongue over Loki’s lower lip. Loki met it with his own, maybe enjoying the now already fading taste of blood a little too much, and kept his tight hold on Anthony’s hair because Anthony hadn’t complained about it so far. In fact, Anthony seemed to like it, if the way he groaned into their kiss when Loki experimentally pulled a little was any indicator. 

Anthony somehow managed to get his hands under Loki’s thighs and lift him up. He set him down on the desk, hands now beneath Loki’s shirt again, and stretched to keep kissing him. Loki scrambled to wrap his legs around Anthony’s waist, wanting to keep him as close as possible. He could have continued like this for ages, kissing and touching Anthony until Loki wasn’t entirely sure which hand belonged to whom, until time was just a vague concept that didn’t matter anymore.

He wasn’t surprised when Anthony lifted him off the desk again, but only because Loki would have been fine with just about anything as long as they didn’t  _ stop. _ He still had to laugh a little when Anthony carried him into the general direction of Loki’s bedroom, ready to quip about either impatience or the surprising strength for someone this short, but Anthony shut him up with a kiss before Loki could say more than two words. 

Loki was fine with that.

They made it to the bed, and as soon as Loki had fallen down on it Anthony was above him, kissing him again. Loki spread his legs, hands roaming over Anthony’s back. The arousal pooling in Loki’s belly was almost too much; he was so desperate for  _ more _ of this that he couldn’t even think properly anymore. He gasped when he felt Anthony’s lips on his neck, teeth scraping over the thin skin of Loki’s throat. They were sharp again, not piercing the skin yet but  _ almost, _ and the realization made it impossible to even  _ try _ to keep from moaning. 

“You do like that,” Anthony murmured, his breath hot on Loki’s skin, and proceeded to lick a broad stripe across the skin he’d been teasing.

Loki very nearly whined, hips bucking up against Anthony on their own account. “Yes -”

“Yes?” Anthony echoed, his voice warm and rough. He shifted, pushing his knees against Loki’s thighs to spread them even more, and grinned down at Loki with one of his hands next to Loki’s head. “Yes, what?”

“Please -”

Anthony kissed him again, tongue meeting Loki’s only briefly before he pulled away and let his lips wander downward again, down his throat to the bend of his shoulder. There he bit down, just lightly - but still firmly enough to break the skin; Loki could tell that by the sharp pain, the hot stinging feeling traveling right down to his groin.  _ Oh - _

Anthony pulled back and then kissed his way further down, until the collar of Loki’s tunic blocked the way. Anthony made an impatient sound and pulled at it. Loki got the message and approved of it, quickly trying to sit up enough so that Anthony could drag the tunic over his head and toss it aside. A gentle but insistent hand on Loki’s chest pushed him down again and Loki willingly fell back against the bed, sucking in a breath when Anthony started kissing his chest again, tongue sliding over the lines of Loki’s chest and teeth scratching every so often, leaving short trails of irritated skin behind, red with just a little bit of blood. Loki could feel Anthony licking it up here and there, and he probably shouldn't have liked that as much as he did.

Loki did like it, though. Soon enough he was so hard that it ached, and incredibly disappointed when Anthony sat up. He could still feel the imprints of Anthony’s lips and hands on his upper body; they almost seemed to burn. Loki had long stopped trying to catch his breath. He looked up at Anthony out of slightly glassy eyes, impatiently propping himself up on his elbows with the vague plan to complain in his mind. 

He was distracted from that when he saw that Anthony was naked.

Anthony caught him looking and grinned. He’d probably done it on purpose, undressing with magic to catch Loki off-guard. His fingers had wandered down to Loki’s belly, following the trail of soft dark hairs to the waistband of Loki’s pants. Loki didn’t even really realize that; he was too busy dragging his eyes over the lots and lots of tanned skin, smooth and inviting him to - to get his hands and tongue all over it, as Anthony had put it.

“Like what you see?” 

Loki nodded, licking his lips, and raised first his hips and then his legs when Anthony started pulling Loki’s pants down. He wore nothing beneath them, and he could see the appreciative glint in Anthony’s eyes when he looked at Loki, taking in the sight of Loki’s cock that strained against his belly, red and hard and twitching a little when Anthony ran his hands over Loki’s now bare thighs.

“I like what I see, too,” Anthony murmured. “Very much. Lie back.”

Loki obeyed and made himself comfortable again, and a second later he keened when Anthony wrapped his warm hand around Loki’s cock. He stroked it just once, from the base to the tip, and then had to push Loki’s hips down with his other hand to keep them from bucking up.

“Shh,” he said, his tone still soft, almost enthralled. “Let me. I want to take my time.”

Loki took a quivering breath and nodded, burying his hands in the sheets to have something to hold onto. He looked at the ceiling for a moment, then pinched his eyes shut when Anthony’s hand started moving again. It was slick now, and the warm drag of it was simply exquisite. All heat in Loki’s body seemed to be focused on the feel of Anthony’s hand, and the arousal in his belly was stretched so taut that he didn’t know what to do with himself. He was panting, whimpering by the time Anthony’s other hand found his balls, and the hand on Loki’s cock was still moving so agonizingly  _ slow _ -

“Please, I -”

“Not until I’ve had enough of you,” Anthony interrupted. He pressed his lips to the inside of Loki’s thigh, Loki could feel it - gods, Anthony had to be lying between Loki’s legs now, his breath so close to Loki’s cock. “You’re so perfect like this.”

The compliment made Loki even more lightheaded. He felt like he needed to combust, to just go up in flames, like he couldn’t possibly survive this - and gods, he loved it. He noticed only marginally that all candles in the room were suddenly brightly lit.

“That’s it, love,” Anthony said, chuckling softly. “Enjoy it.”

There was something wet and hot on Loki’s cock, suddenly, the feel of it making him open his eyes wide and cry out. Anthony didn’t seem bothered by the sudden twitch of Loki’s hips, he just swallowed around the cock in his mouth, tongue swirling and sliding, making Loki’s vision get blurry.

_ “Oh -” _

Anthony gave a hard a suck and it was  _ heavenly. _ Loki’s hands all but flew into Anthony’s hair, gripping it tightly and holding his head where it was. Anthony simply hummed approvingly and pulled back for a second to catch his breath. Then he swallowed Loki down whole, and for a brief moment Loki thought he had died and entered Valhalla. By the time a slicked finger of Anthony’s free hand slipped between Loki’s cheeks and probed at his hole, Loki was too far gone to be surprised, let alone shocked, and the new feeling, the stretch and the slight hint of a burn, was entirely too much.

He dug his heels into the mattress as he came. He could feel Anthony swallowing and eventually pull off, very gently. He withdrew his finger, too, and then kissed his way up Loki's body again. Loki was still desperately trying to catch his breath and come back to himself, so he didn't do more than press up a little when Anthony kissed him, tongue moving lazily against Loki's. It made Loki shiver, and after a few moments he managed to lift a hand and slide it into Anthony's messy hair again.

When they broke apart, Anthony was looking down at Loki with a smile and a warmth in his eyes that was just very unbecoming for a demon. Somehow, Loki didn't really mind that. He smiled back, still breathless, and arched up to kiss Anthony again. He knew that the demon was still hard, could feel his cock against his stomach. 

It positively demanded Loki to do something about it, so he eventually pushed against Anthony's shoulders and made them change positions. Anthony complied and sat leaning against the headboard. Loki straddled Anthony's legs, eyes fixed on the demon's cock. It was a little shorter than Loki's own, but lovely, and Loki couldn't wait to get his hands on it. 

He just needed a quick thought to coat his hand in oil and was only mildly startled by Anthony's answering laugh.

“You know that trick, too, huh?”

Loki grinned back. “It's one of the first spells you learn, is it not?”

Anthony was about to reply, probably something snarky, but he didn't get around to forming the words. Loki's hand on his cock seemed to distract him. A gasp tumbled from his lips and his head fell back against the headboard with a soft  _ thud. _ Loki smiled, satisfied, and started stroking slowly. He barely looked at what he was doing. He preferred to look at Anthony, to soak up even the tiniest reaction he was rewarded with - the curl of Anthony's lips, partening in another gasp or a moan, his eyebrows twitching, eyelids fluttering shut. Watching Anthony was  _ addictive, _ just like touching him and being touched by him. 

“Look at me,” Loki demanded, and Anthony actually opened his eyes and looked at him. Yes, that was even better.

Loki held his gaze, watched as Anthony's eyes flickered over Loki's face, over his neck and shoulders. Anthony swallowed audibly.

“You're bleeding,” he said hoarsely.

Loki raised a brow and pressed his thumb to the spot right beneath the head of Anthony's cock, grinning when Anthony reacted with a low moan that somehow turned into a breathless laugh. 

Loki brought the fingertips of his free hand up to his shoulder. Anthony's teeth had left several tiny wounds all over Loki's upper body. They were all just superficial and would heal soon enough, but right now they were still burning - a pain Loki found surprisingly pleasant. 

When he took a look at his fingers, they were smeared with a few drops of blood. He hummed, absurdly fascinated. Then he saw how Anthony stared at him, his eye wide and dark, lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed. His desire was visible, and it didn't take long until Loki understood.

He touched his fingertips to Anthony's lips, and the demon immediately opened his mouth for them. Loki held his breath as Anthony swirled his tongue around Loki's fingers, licking up the blood with a wonderfully dark look in his eyes. Loki could feel Anthony's magic - it was practically purring, wrapping itself around Loki, around them both, and Loki's candles only flared about brighter in reaction.

He kissed Anthony again as soon as the demon gave his fingers free, and Anthony moaned and kissed back at once. It was hard and a little sloppy and it was  _ perfect;  _ Loki loved how Anthony just let Loki kiss him, how he groaned and gasped in reaction to every move of Loki's fingers, how his cock felt in Loki's hand. 

It was Anthony who stopped their kiss eventually, a whimper caught in his throat. Loki could tell that he was close and quickened his strokes, watching Anthony with rapt attention.

“Fuck, I -” Anthony got out, panting. “Loki -”

“Anthony,” Loki replied without thinking, and immediately Anthony's eyes flew open in something akin to shock. 

He still came, though, in the exact same second. Loki felt Anthony spill into his hand, hot and wet, and stroked him through it. He only took his hand away when Anthony squirmed a little uncomfortably. Loki kissed his cheek and his jaw and cleaned them both up with the second spell most mages learned.

Anthony recovered quickly, and the first thing he said was, “Where the fuck did you even get that name?”

“I read it.”

Anthony laughed and ran a hand through his hair, looking a little frenzied. “Of course you did.”

Loki felt like he had crossed a line he shouldn't even have looked at. He swallowed. “It  _ is _ your name, isn't it?”

“Yes,” the demon said, then frowned. “Well, it was. A long time ago.”

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have -”

“Nah, it's fine,” Anthony said, meeting Loki's eyes again. He smiled. “It's fine. Come here.”

Loki let himself be pulled against Anthony's chest and wrapped up in arms that felt an awful lot like safety. Anthony shifted them until he wasn't sitting anymore but lying with Loki on top of him, and Loki couldn't do anything but let out a content sigh and melt into it. He had the vague idea to begin a second round in a few minutes, but for now a moment of rest seemed like a splendid idea.

“Loki?”

“Hmm?”

“What did you do to my books?”

Loki grinned into his lover's skin. He had put a very strong protective spell on  _ his _ books, even on those Anthony had given him - a spell even the demon wouldn’t be able to break, Loki was very sure. Well, at least it would take him a considerable amount of time to do so. 

“Feel free to find that out yourself.”

Anthony sighed, but let it go. He had started stroking Loki's back. Loki knew that the darkness that belonged to Anthony's magic had conquered the shadows in the room again, but Loki's candles were still burning - and frankly he wasn't disturbed by that darkness anymore, anyway. It did belong to Anthony, after all.

Right now, Loki couldn't imagine anything better than this, and he didn't even want to. He would always choose to be here rather than anywhere else, anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Life kept throwing things at me.

The demon woke up not long before dawn. He all but jolted up from sleep, just like he always did. He didn't sleep often, because he had long found the best method to avoid the dreams that had been plaguing him for millennia: He simply stayed awake.

Well, at least that was what he usually did.

The princeling - Loki was still sleeping. The demon carefully sat up and tried not to jostle his lover too much. Loki's candles were still burning, flickering softly; he was probably dreaming. The demon watched them for some time while he came back down from his nightmare and, oddly enough, they helped him calm down. 

Loki's fire was a fascinating thing. The green flames were pleasantly warm instead of blazing hot and they were always controlled, although both was just because Loki wanted it to be that way. It could have been different; Loki could have burned all of Asgard to the ground if he had wanted to.

The demon yanked his eyes away from the candles and looked down at the god of fire himself, who didn't seem any more peaceful in his sleep than he did when he was awake. Frowning, the demon reached out and brushed some strands of wayward black hair out of Loki's face. He could watch as the creases on the god's forehead slowly smoothed out. The candles stopped flickering, too.

Dealing with nightmares was one of the demon's specialties.

 _Anthony,_ Loki had called him. A strange name for an Aesir, wasn't it? Then again, he had always been strange, and he also hadn't been an Aesir for very long, anyway. Still, he had almost forgotten it. Not even the humans called him by that name, even though he could have chosen it without any problems. 

If Loki wanted to call him that, though - fine, he could. Anthony would let him. (He would have let Loki do pretty much everything.)

Anthony kept his hand on Loki's skin. He followed the lines of Loki's collar bones with his fingertips, then let his fingers wander over his arm, tracing his barely visible veins. Another fascinating thing about Loki Odinson - his blood was oddly cool. Anthony didn't need to concentrate to remember how it had tasted. There had been power in it, almost unfairly much of it, but it had also tasted _odd._ Unbalanced.

Something about Loki wasn't quite right, Anthony knew that. He had noticed it long ago, but in the beginning he had dismissed it as just a quirk of Loki's magic. By now he had realized that it wasn't _Loki's_ magic at all; it was someone else's. Anthony could feel it now, the spell that lingered right beneath Loki's skin and clung to him like fresh tar. Loki himself didn't seem to be aware of it, but that wasn't surprising. The spell felt very old, so Loki had probably grown up with it.

Anthony narrowed his eyes. That wouldn't do. He tugged at the strange spell, and soon it wasn't strange at all anymore. Anthony recognized the magic, and he didn't want it anywhere near his prince, let alone _inside_ him.

He watched as the skin of Loki's arm changed from pale and white to deep blue. Heritage lines became visible, too, and Anthony held his breath when he recognized the pattern.

"There you are," he whispered, with a smile that faded soon enough.

Not an Odinson at all, then. Anthony had wondered what had become of the prince of the Jötnar. He'd been so tiny at the end of the war, so helpless, and the remaining Jötnar had searched for him for a long time before they had given it up and declared him dead. Laufey had even called upon Anthony, but his kingdom had been lying in shambles, so he hadn't had anything intriguing to offer. In the end, Anthony had just promised to _find_ the lost prince, which had taken him a little more than a millennium. By now, Laufey had long paid his price; he had gone insane over anger and grief. Jötunheimr was a doomed world.

Anthony felt guilty about it now and then, but this right now wasn't the time for guilt, because Loki needed him. Loki and his fiery magic, his clever mind and sharp smiles. Anthony was so old that he could barely remember his childhood, but he was maddeningly sure that _nobody_ had ever been like Loki, that nobody had ever _matched_ him like Loki did. Anthony had known it since the very first time he had seen Loki - even then he had already wanted Loki to be _his._ And Loki was his now, but the scary thing was this: Anthony’s priorities had changed.

Much more than he wanted Loki to be his, Anthony wanted his prince to be _happy,_ and safe. Loki deserved nothing less than everything the universes could offer him, and Anthony wanted Loki to have it all. 

Anthony withdrew his hand, and Loki's skin turned white again. Anthony didn't like it, most of all because he knew that Loki would _detest_ it. Detest himself, too, so much more than he already detested himself, anyway - and that wouldn't do, either. The most important lesson Loki had yet to learn that _himself_ wasn't a bad thing to be.

The demon looked at Loki's face, thinking. The most important question was this: should he kill Odin now or later?

Well, he would have to talk to Loki first. Anthony was a demon, and demons were bound by certain rules; he couldn't just go around killing kings. That wasn't how it worked. He would have done it, of course, if Loki had asked. Anthony would have done it without blinking. And he would have enjoyed it, too.

Still. Maybe Loki would like to do it himself. But how to tell him? Anthony didn't have anything against being the bearer of bad news - he _was_ a demon -, but he couldn't stand seeing Loki unhappy. Maybe Loki wouldn't even believe him, maybe he would hate Anthony for telling him, maybe this would ruin everything. The state of the Nine Realms was brittle enough as it was; if Loki lost his well-groomed control, he could shatter _everything._ That would be beautiful to watch, of course, but Anthony knew that it wouldn’t be what Loki would want. He would never forgive himself.

Anthony had to think about this properly. For now, he just sighed and moved to get out of bed. He pressed a kiss to Loki's bare shoulder - _be careful, sweetheart, I don't want to see you hurt -_ before he stood up, but Loki slept right through it. No wonder; he was always so tired. Asgard wore him out. He was one of the brightest mages the Nine had ever seen, and what was his reward? Scorn, exclusion, neglect. For him, this palace was nothing more than a pretty cage, with locks that the Allfather had been holding firmly in place for more than a thousand years now.

Now, they were crumbling.

~~~

The clone didn't look any better. It was still a perfect copy, but bland and lifeless, and Loki couldn't make it right. It was incredibly annoying, and Loki's mood wasn't improved when his brother all but crashed into the room - without knocking, of course. Because why would Thor, golden prince of Asgard, bother to knock on his younger brother's door?

"One of these days, I will turn you into a toad, and maybe then you will regret having no manners whatsoever.”

"Forgive me, brother," Thor replied distractedly, just like he always did - offhand apologies rectified any possible sort of assault, after all. 

"We really _are_ sorry," said another voice from behind Thor that turned out to be Fandral's. He came standing next to the prince, grinning at Loki. "I did tell him that entering without knocking is terribly rude."

"I'm sure you did," Loki said dryly, then gave in with a sigh. "What can I do for you today?"

"I thought," Thor began, which was a very surprising revelation that Loki would have liked to hear the end of. Sadly, Thor stopped himself and asked, "What _is_ that?"

Loki glanced at the clone that was still standing in the middle of the room. He'd left it there to confuse Thor at least or scare him at best, but now Loki regretted it.

"An experiment," he said, "nothing more. It could be useful in battle."

"You and your schemes," Thor said, as if that was in any way a reasonable reply. "It looks just like you!"

Loki looked at his brother, clenching his jaw. "Does it?"

"Yes! Doesn't it?" 

Fandral seemed a little more hesitant, but he still nodded and said, "Oh, yes. It's a little eerie, though, if you ask me."

"Eerie, hm?" Loki vanished the clone with a flick of his wrist. "My, Fandral. Scared so easily?"

"Hardly," Fandral replied, grinning.

Thor laughed. "Now come, brother, leave your studies be for a while. Fandral and I wanted to go into town and celebrate. Volstagg and Hogun will join later as well."

"Celebrate what?" Loki asked, barely even bothering to raise a brow.

"Oh, you know, the usual," Fandral said. "The existence of beer and ladies should always be celebrated by pursuing both."

Loki remained unimpressed. "I'm afraid I'm not interested in either."

"Loki," Thor said, looking seriously devastated. "They have other drinks, too."

"And at least one or two men that might be worthy of your attention," Fandral added with a wink and a rather lewd smirk.

Now Loki did raise a brow at him. "Oh, I sincerely doubt that."

Fandral just laughed. That he flirted with Loki wasn't anything new - two or three centuries ago Loki might have been flattered, but by now he had figured out that it didn't mean anything. Fandral flirted with him, yes, but he also flirted with everyone else who didn't get away from him in time. He didn't want Loki in any way that mattered.

"Are you coming, Loki?" Thor asked, his eyes childishly hopeful.

Loki had always found them somewhat difficult to resist, so he sighed and joined them. He spent the entire night listening as they bragged about their greatest feats and fights and talked about their golden future, and all along Loki just wished to be somewhere else, with somebody else.

~~~

Loki had to admit that he was a _little_ nervous. The meetings with the Vanir delegation had gone very well, all in all, and while he had taken part in many other similar negotiations, this had been the first time he had been in charge. And that he was satisfied with the results didn't mean that his father would approve. Odin almost never approved of things Loki found satisfying.

Loki was prepared, though. He wouldn't cave in, because he _knew_ that he had done well. When he entered his father's study with a bunch of documents for him to look over and sign, he was ready to meet Odin's criticisms with arguments of his own. 

“You could have had this brought to me by a servant,” was the first thing Odin said, in a tone Loki couldn’t really make sense of. 

“I could have,” Loki agreed, watching as his father looked at the treaty that would come into effect with his signature. “But I thought it best to do it myself, in case you have any -”

 _Objections,_ he had meant to say, but he trailed off when Odin put his name under the treaty without even reading it all properly. Loki couldn’t do anything but stare, and after a moment of silence Odin took his quill and returned to whatever he had been working on.

“I wouldn’t have let you do this alone if I didn’t trust your judgement, Loki,” Odin said, gruff as ever. “It has been clear for a long time now that you have a hand for politics,” he glanced up at Loki just briefly, “and for making people agree with you.”

Loki continued staring. He couldn’t really make sense of _that,_ either. If that was supposed to be a compliment, it sounded a little too condescending for Loki’s taste. “Is that so?”

Odin didn’t seem to deem that worthy of a direct answer. Instead, he said, “I’ve been told that the Vanir were quite impressed with you. Especially considering your age.”

Ah. That was the reason he hadn’t read the treaty, then - he had _been told_ everything already. A handful of servants and advisors had probably been running to Odin five times a day to inform him of everything his younger son had said and done. Loki was sure that, if he had been allowed to look, he would have found copies of every single document he had just brought in his father’s desk.

“They were,” Loki said evenly, because there was no point in denying it. The Vanir _had_ been impressed with him - a little too much, maybe. Loki clenched his teeth. “In fact, you might want to consider telling them that I will not wear the crown. They didn’t believe me when I told them.”

Odin looked at him, eyes narrowing just slightly. “You told them?”

“Of course.” Loki smiled, showing teeth. “It wouldn’t occur to me to adorn myself with my dear brother’s plumes.”

“No," Odin said calmly. "I suppose it wouldn't."

“Speaking of, I do believe the Vanir felt a little insulted. Thor didn’t even come to greet them.”

“He was hunting, I think.”

“Oh, was he?”

Odin didn’t reply. Loki could see that his father wasn’t happy. But as far as Loki was concerned, this was Odin’s own fault - if he didn’t want the leaders of other realms to think that he lacked sane judgement, he shouldn’t have shown off with his clever son while letting the crown prince insult everyone in his sight. 

“Well,” Loki said. “If this was all, would you excuse me? I would like to catch up on my readings.”

Odin nodded, so Loki wished him a good night and turned around. But before he even reached the door, his father’s voice held him back.

"When Thor is angry with me, he usually starts shouting. You, however, have never raised your voice in my presence. Not even once."

Loki stilled, but didn't turn back to his father at first. Only when the silence went on and on, he looked at Odin again and forced himself to hold Odin's gaze without flinching. He kept his hands behind his back, nails digging into his skin so hard that it hurt. He smiled again, placatingly. Sharp at the edges.

"Please, father," he said. "I doubt that Thor ever had a real reason to be angry with you."

Odin's jaw twitched, then he returned to his work. "Thor will be crowned king at the end of the decade. You are right, it's about time to inform the other realms. Draft a letter and have it brought to me by tomorrow evening. I will tell Thor myself."

Loki stared at him. He wasn't smiling anymore, but his voice was still smooth when he said, "Of course, father."

"You may go."

So Loki left and quietly closed the door behind himself, even though he would have liked to slam it shut.

They were both too good at this, too good at not saying what they really meant. When they fought, they did so quietly, by squeezing accusations and provocations in the narrow spaces between the lines. Always looking for imbalances, for slanders; always finding some.

Loki knew that shouting would not get him anywhere.

~~~

"You have to concentrate. Are you concentrating?"

"Of course I am concentrating."

"If you were concentrating, you wouldn't be talking."

Loki opened one eye to look at Anthony. "If you were able to stay quiet for a single minute, I wouldn't _need_ to talk."

Anthony grinned, but stayed quiet. After a moment Loki close his eyes again and took a breath, trying to ignore Anthony altogether. They were standing across from each other in the forest in which they had met many times before. Tonight, though, they wouldn't _stay_ here - tonight, they were going to jump, and Loki would be the one leading them.

Anthony had shown him the place, where to thread, when to jump. Loki didn't even need Anthony's help to see Yggdrasil; his magic found the right branch all on its own. The In-Between, what he saw the blink-short moments before jumping - Loki liked it there. He liked the rush of it, liked how the currents between the worlds pushed and pulled at him. It was overwhelming, chaotic, but it didn't make Loki feel lost. Actually, it made him feel _found._

It wasn't a physical jump, not really. Loki didn't move a muscle of his body, but imagining it that way made it easier. He didn't need to open his eyes to see the whirlwinds surrounding him, and he didn't need to look down to become aware of the edge he was standing on, the edge of everything. His toes were already in the air, his body seesawing, reeling, every inch of him wanting to fall forward.

He didn't fall. He jumped, and he enjoyed it.

~~~

When Loki opened his eyes, he was panting as if he had just run a few miles. He was also laughing, he realized, and unable to stop. Giddiness was dwelling up from somewhere in his chest and refusing to leave him be; he didn't want it to leave him be.

Anthony appeared standing right in front of Loki, blocking his sight of everything else. He was laughing, too, and then he suddenly surged forward and cupped Loki's face, kissing him. _Kissing him_ and gods, Loki did like being kissed by him, liked it even more now because he was so full with _triumph_ that he didn't know where to put it, and channeling it into kisses seemed like a splendid idea.

Sadly, Anthony broke the kiss rather quickly. His smile was bright and warm, _proud._ “Congratulations,” he said. "You are now officially a skywalker."

Loki returned the grin. "I suppose so. Impressive, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes. Very."

Loki chuckled and pressed his lips on Anthony’s again. They could have continued for ages, but soon Loki was distracted by their surroundings. The first thing he noticed was that the ground they were standing on was covered in water, which was at first just odd and then started to be annoying when some of it sloshed into Loki’s boots. He turned his head, ignoring the protesting sound Anthony made, and was ready to complain about the wetness when he saw _where_ they were.

For a moment, Loki believed that they were standing right in the middle of the night sky. But then he remembered that the ground beneath them, no matter how wet, actually felt very solid, and he could also make out the black silhouettes of mountains on the horizon. But apart from that, the only thing he could see was _sky._ A sky filled with billions of stars, one brighter than the other, and a ribbon-like brightening right above where Loki and Anthony where standing. The stars were all around them, even _beneath_ them, and it took Loki a moment to realize that the water on the ground was reflecting the sky. Right below them, under the surface, Loki could see odd looking flats that were vaguely hexagonal, but the further he looked the blurrier they became, until they disappeared under the stars. 

This place felt… infinite.

“What do you think?” Anthony asked quietly. His hands were still resting on Loki’s hips.

Loki didn’t know how to put it into words. In the end, he said, “I am… unsure if I have ever seen anything this beautiful.”

Anthony hummed in agreement and kissed Loki’s jaw. “It’s salt.”

“Hm?”

“The ground,” Anthony explained. “It’s salt. When it rains enough, it gets covered in water like this, and there you go - Midgard’s biggest mirror.”

Loki had to smile. Soon, his smile turned first into a grin and then into a laugh, but when Anthony asked him what the matter was, Loki could only shake his head and kiss his lover again. Anthony’s lips immediately fell open for Loki’s tongue and he pulled Loki close, his warm hands and even warmer mouth a welcome contrast to the biting cold air. 

When they broke apart long enough, Loki touched his forehead to Anthony’s. “What can I give you for this?” he asked, grinning as he caught his breath. “Another first time? Another strand of my hair, or maybe a fingernail?”

“Gross,” Anthony said, making Loki laugh. “Don’t you dare laugh at me. I just never understood what fingernails are good for -”

Loki interrupted him with another kiss, then said, “I mean it, Anthony. I want to thank you.”

Hearing his name made Anthony soften. “Loki, you don’t need to thank me. Seeing you happy is more than enough for me.”

The sincerity made Loki blush. He had to look away, so he concentrated on his fingers while letting them wander over Anthony’s chest. The oh so powerful demon was wearing a ridiculous shirt. What was that, a _cat?_ Loki smiled.

“You see,” he said softly, “that is a first time, too. For me.” Anthony didn’t reply, so Loki met his eyes again after a moment and added, “Being happy.”

“I know.” Anthony sighed and leaned in to nuzzle Loki’s jaw. “It’s my favourite.”

“Is it?”

“Mh-hm.”

Loki swallowed. “What about my first time being in love?”

Anthony pulled back so that he could look at Loki. He stayed silent for a moment, then said, “You gave that one to me months ago.”

“I am still giving it to you.”

“Yes, you are.” 

Loki frowned, mildly frustrated. “But what - what about _you?_ Do you - care for me at all? _”_

“You know I do.”

“But I mean -”

“I _know_ what you mean.” Anthony sighed, and for the first time, he actually seemed a little nervous. “A demon’s life isn’t worth much,” he said finally. “But I… I feel like mine is worth _something,_ at least, now that you’re in it. Can you - do you understand that?”

Loki let out a breath and nodded. “I do,” he said and kissed Anthony’s cheek before he pulled Anthony close again. “I _do.”_

Anthony relaxed and soon wrapped his arms around Loki in return. Loki closed his eyes. He had never been one to overly enjoy hugs before, but he had to admit that this was rather nice. He could feel Anthony’s breath on his skin, could even hear his heartbeat when he concentrated. 

Loki could have asked what Anthony was _doing_ with all those for times, what they meant to him. But Loki knew himself that there was power in things like that, just like there was power in blood and hair when they were given away willingly. And Loki’s first times meant something to _him,_ so he wouldn’t be surprised if there was an energy in them that Anthony could use, who knew what for. Loki didn’t worry; by now he was very, very certain that Anthony would not hurt him.

“Loki?” Anthony asked after what felt like a very long time.

“Mhh?”

“I will have to go away for a while.”

Loki pulled back at once, staring at Anthony. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Anthony said slowly, “that I have some business to take care of. Beyond the tree.”

“Beyond the tree?” Loki echoed. He now took a proper step back, his hands falling to his sides. “A deal?”

Anthony gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Maybe.” He smiled one of his razor sharp smiles. “If he has something good to offer.”

Loki swallowed and nodded. Anthony had never spoken to him about other deals before, but sometimes he stayed away for a few days, maybe even for a week or two. But if he had to leave the Nine Realms for this one, and venture into the universes _beyond_ Yggdrasil… the thought made Loki’s chest tighten with something awfully close to fear.

“How long will you be gone?” He asked, hoping that his voice wasn’t as toneless as it sounded in his own ears.”

“I’m not sure. A year, maybe two. Time works differently there.”

“I see,” Loki said. “Well. We will… see each other when you return, then.”

Anthony frowned at him. “Actually,” he said, “I was about to ask you to come with me.”

Loki didn’t understand at first. Maybe he still hadn’t properly understood after a minute had passed, because he still couldn’t muster a reply. He was just staring at Anthony, dumbfounded. Eventually, he said, “Come _with_ you?”

Anthony nodded, and Loki kept gaping at him.

“But I… I would have to leave Asgard. For _years,_ maybe.”

“Well, yes.” Anthony took a step toward Loki again, the look in his eyes fierce. “But what holds you there?”

Yes, what held him there? Loki didn’t know. He didn’t know anything except the fact that Asgard was his _home,_ or that it at least should have been. When he thought further, he also knew that he had a family there, and that especially his brother would… miss him, maybe. The idea of him. As long as Loki could live up to that idea, he would always have a place at his brother’s side, even when Thor would become king. But if he left now and didn’t return to Asgard for years - would they all forget him? Would they be silently glad to be rid of him? They would laugh, certainly, and tell each other behind closed doors that the second prince hadn’t simply left, but that he had _fled_ because he had known that he could never be enough.

Was that what Loki wanted? He still had the chance to prove them all wrong, to prove _himself._ Loki couldn’t get that chance go to waste.

He didn’t allow himself to think about how lovely it would be. To actually _be_ with Anthony, to travel with him. He didn’t dare to think about the many things he could have seen and learned, because that would certainly make him choose differently.

“I can’t,” he said, his voice dark, unhappy. “Thor will be coronated soon. I have to be there.”

Anthony looked at him, and for a second he seemed so disappointed that Loki had to look away. But then Anthony sighed and took a step toward Loki again, framing Loki’s face with his hands to make him look at him.

“That’s alright,” he said. “You don’t have to come with me. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No,” Loki said, shaking his head. “Thank you. For asking.”

“Loki,” Anthony said, and the look in his eyes was oddly intense. “You have to _promise_ me that you will be careful. I need to know that you’ll be safe.”

Loki looked at him, furrowing his brow. “Only if you promise to come back to me.”

Anthony blinked, but then he nodded and Loki nodded, too, and then they kissed. The mood was different now, heavier, but eventually they started walking around on the salt flats, feeling like they were walking on stars, and Loki started to think that everything might not be that bad. 

Anthony _would_ come back to him. Until then, Loki had some business of his own to attend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time, they visited the Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! The last part of the series will be up... eventually. xD


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